if i've got to sin to see you again, then i'm gonna lie, lie, lie;

[OPEN] if i've got to sin to see you again, then i'm gonna lie, lie, lie;

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380

Deceased

Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE

RayoDeSoleil

12-10-2013, 03:38 PM

If there was one emotion that the DarkEmpress had truly never felt before, it was guilt. She did not feel guilty when she murdered her first pegasus. She did not feel guilty when she seduced Mauja in an attempt to gain power. She did not feel guilty when she found herself the lead of the Aurora Basin. She did not feel guilty when she had failed to win their war.

But as Illynx came into view, horror and shock evident in her gaze and accusations on her lips, the Dark Empress felt a wave of the most heartfelt guilt that one could possibly feel. For as she had fled so hurriedly, so hurt by Ulrik's taunts and Deimos' stoic silence, she had not once stopped to think of Illynx. She had not said goodbye. She had not told her of her failure. She had not told her of her loss. She had failed the one individual that had always had her back. She had failed the one true friend she could claim.

She did not like the feeling.

"I... oh, Illynx -" she began, regret in her tones. But the golden-laced mare wasn't done. There was a brief moment, as Illynx charged forward, in which the Empress thought that she may find herself impaled upon her friend's sharp sword, but the fae merely buried her face into the shade's shoulder. Just as quickly, though, she was away again, and yelling, leaving Psyche in a rather sheepish pool of confused emotions. Finally, when she was done, and she stood there with her chest heaving and her gaze accusing and tears streaking down her fact, the shadow-mare sighed heavily.

"Ulrik didn't do this," she said, her lyrics more tired than the Lady had perhaps ever heard them. "Though you may thank him for my disappearance." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "I'm sorry, Illynx. I didn't mean to leave you. I just - I'm not even one of you anymore - and Deimos and Ulrik - all of them, really - they didn't care about me. They didn't thank me. They didn't love me. I was a placeholder while they waited around for Mauja to come back and -" her voice was rising, quickening, beginning to crack around the edges, too much like her soul.

She turned away, closed her eyes, and took a breath.

"But he never came back, and they were stuck with me. And what am I but a jumped up soldier playing at being a princess?"

She laughed then, a sad little chuckle that had no place in their conversation, as heated as it had gotten. It wasn't the topic that had upset the Empress so much, you see - it was the guilt, the hot, molten regret that filled her veins at the decision to leave her friend behind. It was the knowledge that Illynx hadn't even been a thought. She wouldn't go back to the Basin. She wouldn't go back to the heartless wretch she had been before. But she would go back so she could take Illynx with her. She would try to grow into their friendship. She would try to give back what Illynx so selflessly gave, time and time again. But it was too late for that.

"You deserved better than me, Illynx. I'm sorry."

@[Illynx]

"Talk talk talk."