if i've got to sin to see you again, then i'm gonna lie, lie, lie;

[OPEN] if i've got to sin to see you again, then i'm gonna lie, lie, lie;

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380

Deceased

Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE

RayoDeSoleil

12-26-2013, 02:20 AM

Ah, but if only the golden-laced femme understood that the loneliness never ended; if only the shadow-mare could explain that she felt no different in the wilds than she did amongst their kin. It was, perhaps, less lonely here, where she did not have to worry about gaining the allegiance of those who would follow her, where she did not have to pretend interest in alliances and battles and enemies. It was easier, yes, to get caught up in a cause that she had supported for so long. It was simpler to have something to fight for. But she was happier here, on her own, with no one to impress and no one to fear, no one to judge her actions or misdeeds. She had never lived for herself before; it was high time she learned how. Perhaps, if Illynx had understood that, they would have been able to band together as one. Perhaps that was as it should be.

But alas, the Empress would likely never know.

There is an ache where her heart would be, and it stems from the tears flowing freely down her friend's cheeks. She steps closer still, offering her muzzle for a gentle touch, offering comfort in a new and different way, not knowing what to expect from the gesture. It is something that she has only seen, never tried, and she half expects the mare to run her through with her horn. Illynx speaks prettily of the shade's time as ruler, her contempt for the position Psyche has assigned herself evident on her pretty features. Still, the jackal stands in silence, letting her friend berate her. In a way, she is right; Deimos would not have been her first choice for lead, but he was there, and she thought that his appointment would sit better with those she served for so long. Ironic, that she had sought to use her subjects, but in the end it was she who was their slave. It was really too bad that they hadn't seen that.

After a few moments' silence, she spoke again, trying to explain her position to the golden girl. "Darling, I appreciate that you stood up for me, though I don't deserve such praise. I never thought... well, you are more loyal, a far truer friend than I could have asked for. But you are mistaken, for you think I am wallowing in self-loathing and hiding in the woods out of self-pity, and that is not the case. I am happier, Illynx. Do you know how I was raised? Do you know that I cannot remember a single time that I have done anything for myself? I have given all my life to a cause that does not support me. I have given my soul to those who would take it and use it and keep asking for more. I am at peace here, my dear. Even without my horn, even if that makes me a hornless abomination, even if that places me at the top of their hit list, I am finding myself. Not who my father trained me to be, not who they asked me to be - who I want to be." She sighed, shaking her head, wishing that she could offer the fae the same escape.

"I can't be who I was, Illynx. Please don't ask it of me."

@[Illynx]

"Talk talk talk."