We both had grown.

Sameira was now seven months, her body much larger than it was when she first hatched out of her tiny egg. She was now close to fully developed, her muscle mass grown to the point where she is just pure muscle latched to bone and draped in a dark coat. Her markings seemed to flicker with gentle flames every now and then although she was testing her abilities. My leg twitches as I remember when she first discovered her magic, sending a burning branch streaking down my leg. What a pain you are. I look back at her, her head hung low as she walks strides behind me. We.. go? She raises her dual tone gaze, my mind buzzing gently as her youthful words ring through my head. I understood her words, as I myself once spoke with such broken language. To my mother. Sameira simply nods her head as I look back, her oddly long tail carried low behind her.

I knew exactly where she is.

I knew it like the spots on my body, the pattern of my hoof, I knew the exact point in which mommy laid. I halt several yards away, turning to Sameira and letting our voices meet. Sit and stay. Do not move unless I call for you. She lowers her rump, daul tone eyes showing understanding beneath the pale moonlight. Turning, I suddenly realize I face my past alone, no longer accompanied by my bonded friend. Inhaling shakily, I press myself to move on. As though upon instinct, I begin to stall, looking out upon the endless shifting waves, watching the moon's reflection ripple wildly. You're stalling... It was either mommy speaking, or just myself, ushering me to get along with it. Another shaky breath before I take another painful step.

A few more small steps and I halt, the tears brought to my eyes. I remember thinking I was leaking salty water when I first cried, back when... when. Stop. Breathe. I tell myself, closing my eyes for a brief second. How was I so scared of meeting my mommy again? You murdered her, remember? It's your fault she isn't here now. A darker side of me spits, or, at least, what I think to be a darker side. I could never be sure, maybe a vengeful spirit from the Marsh decided to use me as a taxi, to hop around Helovia, bringing destruction and chaos with it. I've had it happen once before, when the Endless night happened, several spirits (both good and bad), had caused such a ruckus in my head. But I had gained a friend from the experience, a poor, neglected little colt whose own mother killed him. I could feel his presence here and now, almost like I could turn my head and stare into his sightless eyes. I swear I feel the gentlest tingle spread through my body, as though he is pressing himself closer to me. 'I will provide you with courage and comfort, now go, face your fears.' His words are but a sweet yet gentle whisper, his sugar-dipped voice ringing through my head. The yearling's presence remained with me as I begin to stride closer and closer to mommy.

I was there.

Finally, I was face to face with the mare I murdered, seeing the eyes of my victim, the cold, hollow frames that once held sparkling amber gems. Of course, never had I seen her gentle amber gaze, because when I was born she was in a heap of her own blood, screaming and flailing herself about. And daddy had blocked most of her from my view, although a few times I had seen her face in a few nightmares of mine. But this time, there was nothing but bone and feather, strewn about in the sand. The bone was intact, and only a few small pieces were either missing or out of place. Only one of mommy's ribs was broken, and that was the one that was split in two and woven into my mane. It seemed to warm up against my neck as I gazed at her body... bones shall I say. What remains of her wings were a few feathers trapped under bone and sand, and a few half-buried bones that were half submerged in water.

I find myself paralyzed before the reassuring warmth of the colt's muzzle against my shoulder helps me regain my confidence. The tears have gathered, seemingly screaming in wait to be released. "I... I can't believe I actually had the courage to let you see my face again. I.. don... don't know... know if I actually.. sh..should..." Alright, my sobbing was getting in the way, my words distorted as I try to speak to mommy, staring down at her bones. "What I.. mean to say is... you... you've missed a lot. I have a... a friend now, Sikeax is... is her name. And I... I even found a... a nice herd. And Seele... she's a nice mare who... took me under her wing... and... I got Sameira... she's a good dog." I could barely manage my words, I was just flinging them out without proper organization, all because my mind was such a jumbled mess of guilt and pain, hatred and fear. For several moments no one speaks (all but the racing waves beside me), there is but silence in the world. The roaring water fades away as I swear mommy's eye sockets glow with a gold light. I watch as its enveloped in blood, her eyes suddenly just there, those once beautiful gold pools now staring back at me. Her tears are blood, leaking out from her eyes. Her jaw bone clicks as it comes to life for the first time in a year. It makes several clicks as her jaw bone moves up and down, words flowing with a choppy rhythm through my head. "How could you leave me?! Your own MOTHER! You LEFT me here to ROT! HOW COULD YOU!?" The gentle touch to her eyes has left, leaving a demonic tone to her eyes. Her head swiveled so she could look at me head on. I couldn't tell if this was a reality or if it was something I was doing on my own, simply scaring myself into more guilt and pain.

Stop torturing yourself. The colt's voice whispers, a gentle sigh on the wind. But my living, waking nightmare was out of control. I can't stop myself from creating such a dark reality. Sameira! I wail, our mental bond shaking with my immediate, shaken notes. She races to me, panic in her eyes as she sees my expression. Thankfully the sight of her reassured me (some way or another), and my mind drops the act, leaving mommy's bones where they were prior to this happening. Small beads of sweat have formed above my skin, yet I somehow feel cold. A'right? Sameira approaches cautiously, looking up into my eyes. Nodding my head gently, I breath in and sniffle, the tears still streaming from my face. The flowers Sameira had been carrying in her mouth had been dropped, petals scattered across the beach, twinkling in the moonlight.

[(un)happy birthday 'mara]