tranquility

[OPEN] tranquility

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380

Deceased

Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE

RayoDeSoleil

12-31-2013, 07:31 AM (This post was last modified: 12-31-2013, 07:31 AM by Psyche.)

As she wandered through the forest, she found herself wondering if perhaps everyone had a certain defining moment that changed their life. She also found herself wondering if she had already had hers.

She had the feeling that her moment had come, because when she thought back over her life and the eight painful years of her existence, she was met with a resounding feeling of unease and incompetence. The shade did not feel as though she had accomplished much of anything, despite having clearly defined goals and an entire herd at her beck and call to accomplish those goals. Perhaps she had not been trying hard enough. Perhaps she did not try on purpose, because somewhere deep in her soul, something felt wrong. But that couldn't have been the case, because she still remembered what it felt like to be happy, or at least to be content. Had she ever been happy? She didn't know, and that made her think that the answer was 'probably not.'

Then, she had lost her horn. She had been outcasted from the Aurora Basin. She had spent a long night wondering if suicide might be the best option, and she had spent the better part of a week or two wallowing in self-pity and despair. But then... then, she realized that the angst that had filled her nights was gone. She had realized that the tension that accompanied every miniscule gesture, every perfectly accentuated word, every sickly sweet smile - it was all gone. The pressure to conform to the expectations of the masses was no longer drowning her. And, suddenly, she realized that she had never been fit to rule. She had never been the leader they wanted her to be. She had never conformed to their standards and she had never given them their dreams and she had always just been a tool at the disposal of her father's teachings, and, out of nowhere, she realized that she had no clue who she really was.

And then Illynx had shown up to berate her and offer her adoration in equal measure, and that was a whole new can of worms that the shadow-mare just wasn't quite ready to deal with in the face of all the changes she was already facing, and so here she was, wandering the woods at midday and searching for a nice, secluded spot where she might hide from the world for a while.

But at least she had figured out what her moment was.

And she was different now, truly. Perhaps it was the loss of her horn and the sudden plunge into inferiority, or perhaps it was just the combination of things that had led to her revelations, but she had become something that she had never been before. She was not a pacifist, of course - some things just never change - but she was not filled with that horrible, putrid, gut-wrenching hatred that had been her staple for all those years. She had no desire to watch the world burn before her eyes - in fact, with the memory of her mother's death in mind, she wanted quite the opposite. To be honest, she didn't even want to rule anymore. Maybe she just wanted to find a peaceful glade somewhere deep in the forest where no one would ever go and live out her days in solitude.

But maybe that would just be boring.

@[Mesec]

[W/C | xxx]

Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.