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01-16-2014, 11:14 PM
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Yesterday, I was terrified. Today, I am furious. I am furious because I do not deserve this. I am furious because my family did not deserve this. I am furious because I cannot have nice things. I am furious because no matter how hard I try, I just cannot come out on top in this stupid game called life. Tears well up in my orbs and spill over; I shut my eyes against the pain. On day one, I asked for Zenobia. On day two, I searched for Zenobia. On day seven, I gave up searching. On day ten, I am convinced that she is dead. Why? Because that would fit in with everything else that has happened in my oh-so-perfect life. I have tried not to be angry. I have tried not to be bitter. I have tried to redirect my negativity into more useful channels. But this... this is too much. Life just isn't worth this. I have lost almost everyone that I care about. My family was murdered. One of my best friends died. The other disappeared. My first mate left me. My second mate is useless (wait, that's mean, I don't really mean that, do I?). My first daughter died. My second daughter left me, and is probably dead. My third daughter, I lost, and she's probably dead. Why does tragedy follow me? Why can't I just be happy? Why can't I have nice things? I have been walking blindly, but now I open my eyes. My heart skips a beat, I stop in my tracks, and my mouth drops open, for who should stand before me but the very mate that I presumed was either long gone or dead? A loud roar echoes through my head as I am overwhelmed with emotion. Happiness is first, because he's here! The supposed love of my life is here! Then guilt, because, after all, I did fall prey to Gaucho while Note was still in the Throat. Then dismay, because I am suddenly sure I am hallucinating. The silence stretches out as I remain frozen, shock and disbelief evident on my features, and then, finally: "Note?" "Talk talk talk." @[name] |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
