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01-20-2014, 05:09 PM
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Gaucho stares at me accusingly, or so I imagine - but then I have always had an overactive imagination when it comes to disappointing people. I fear failure - I always have - and with my most recent accomplishments including the loss of not one, but two daughters, I have to say that my self-confidence is not exactly at its highest; so when Gaucho catches me with Note, I find his look to be angry and incriminating, and despite the fact that Note was my mate, not Gaucho, I find myself feeling more and more guilty under his withering gaze. My mouth is dry, and I know that should I attempt to speak, my voice will come out in an embarrassing, high-pitched squeak. Instead, I stand in silence, my auds flickering back now and my bi-colored gaze dropping to the floor. I am the picture of culpability, and, of course, it is all my fault. But when Note speaks up in my - our - defense, I find that the truth catches in my throat. "I thought you left me," I say softly, defensively, because it is so much easier to place the blame on someone else's shoulders than to claim it for yourself. And so, while Note may not have done anything wrong (in fact, it was shaping up to look that way), I have offered him nothing but guilt and shock as I place our predicament squarely on his shoulders, hating myself for it all the while. All because gods forbid I do anything that looks wrong to Gaucho - the stallion who would claim me as nothing more than a trinket, a shiny bauble with which to play. Would I really choose him over the steed that would give me his heart? They would both give their lives for me - but not for the same reasons. Note would give himself because of the love he bears me, though apparently I'm doing all I can to destroy it. But Gaucho would give himself for me because it's his duty. It all suddenly becomes too much. My hooves make their own clatter, distinctly softer than Gaucho's masculine, intimidating steps, as I scurry backwards. "I- I can't-" My voice is foreign even to me as it falls from my lips in shades of pain and panic and guilt. Suddenly, I turn on my heel and run, deeper into the depths of the cave and away from the sources of my pain. Perhaps the darkness which had chased me into these caverns would somehow manage to offer me refuge, if only I kept running into its embrace. Anything would be better than this. [OOC | Annnd Sohalia, out. She's going to run over the Sunken Falls and flail sadly - either of you (or both) are welcome to follow her, but she's basically just angsting really hard xD] "Talk talk talk." @[name] |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
