|
One moment I could feel the warmth and heat that came as one would depart the realm of the mortals. It was a welcome feeling, one that made my primordial soul light with a flame that was dulled when I walked amongst the flesh of man. As I felt my body and soul transcend to it’s true state I was overwhelmed with that feeling of sweet relief, I knew I was close to home. Something changed. Something wasn’t right. As I saw the brilliance of the celestial city, my wings were grasped by some invisible force, and just as easy as I came, I was tossed from the heavens and plummeted to the realm of mortals.
The night around me is silent and still. Five hundred and forty seven days since I was tossed from the heavens. My search for home has been relentless, but I am growing weary. I’ve searched what feels like every corner of the earth and I still have not found the ethereal gates. Most of all, a question haunts me, a simple and unanswerable question. Why? I don’t understand why my Father would thrust me from the warmth of his embrace, or place me amongst the heretics and blasphemers. My mind wanders to the worst of places and I fret that I am deemed Fallen, one of the demons I swore to slay. Such a thought sends a shutter down my spine. No, I am Hamaliel, third born of the Father, archangel and head executioner, there is only one I serve and that is my Father. Without Him, I am absolutely nothing, he is my lord, master, and creator. Unlike the fleeting mortals I recognize his supremacy and have dedicated my every fiber to him.
With each step, I am confident I draw closer to my king. I can still feel his warm presence, it is distant but still there. Don’t forget me, please, I pray, desperately hoping he can hear me. Didn’t he call me the most loyal? Two of my brothers fell, and I have remained by the side of my king despite their fall. Even when I witnessed the fall of Samael, I remained true, despite the pleas of my other half, I still remain true even though my heart is forever bound to that angel of death. In the end I know where my soul belongs, and it’s not with the insignificant ants, but beside my brethren. This earthly realm will not and cannot ever be my home.
HAMALIEL the voice booms in my mind and I jump. It is Him! Tears of joy sting my eyes as I feel that overwhelming heat and raging passion. For the first time in months my soul feels complete and my heart elates with joy. “I am here Father! I am listening!” I shout as I throw my head up to gaze up at the sky “I knew you didn’t forget me! Please, take me home. I need to be beside you." HAMALIEL the voice repeated. HAMALIEL, MY BELOVED SON, YOU WANDER AND YOU SEEK, BUT YOU WILL NOT FIND. “Please, Father if there is something I have done, forgive me. All I desire is to be returned to your side. Please do not cast me out, please do not make me remain here!” The tears begin to pour down from my cheeks and the elation I once felt has wilted. No, no NO! I cannot be alone. I cannot thrive in a world filled with death and blasphemers. The mortal flesh seizes hold of me and I feel overwhelmed by emotion. All at once I see a light. “Father!?” I gallop forward without any hesitation. As I meet the light I can feel the holiness of my father. MY SON FROM ASH YOU WERE BORN, AND TO ASH YOUR LIFE SHALL END. MAY YOU FIND PROTECTION AND SHELTER UNDER THE GAZE OF THE PAGAN GODS. MAY YOU FIND WHAT WAS LOST.
“No, Father!” I scream, “FATHER YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME!!” A searing pain burns at my wings, and I turn my eyes, a blue flame consumes my white wings. “NO! NO! NO! FATHER, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?” I finally give out an ear curdling scream as the pain consumes me. The fire consumes everything, down to the wing socket. All that remains around me are two piles of ash, and immense pain in both of my shoulders. I gaze at the piles of ash at my sides and feel a fit of sobs rack my frame and I fall to the ground. I lay my cheek in the ash that was once my wings, the final tie to my father, my home, my everything. I’m buried in sorrow. More than just my flesh hurts, my heart is in searing pain.
“You could’ve at least let me find my Heart,” I whisper through my sobs. Samael passes through my mind for the first time in literal years. His smile, his laugh, and most of all that darkness of his, that darkness that is so beautiful and immense, that same darkness that made him fall. Funny isn’t it that I, the most loyal, now walk amongst the land of men. Finally I push myself up and groan in pain as I rise. I slowly begin to move, around me is a forest, unfamiliar and new..
"blah blah blah."
[If you read this whole melodramatic novel, kudos to you.]
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
