Scabs from Imogen's fire pulled at her front legs as she walked, the gentle tug reaffirming what she kept hoping was all a dream. But not matter how much she urged it away, no matter how many times she closed her eyes or bit her cheek or kicked herself, it didn't matter. She wasn't sleeping. She was living a nightmare, recovering from a trip to hell, and so lost in her sorrows that she wasn't even scared for herself anymore. Not out here, not in the Threshold. There were shadows behind every tree, cracking branches with every gust of wind, but all she could think was that it didn't matter anyway, because she was a monster, a freak of nature, a walking death trap. What had she done.

Suddenly, she stopped, a sound breaking the silence of her slow trek outward. Kahlua. Maybe this was the sound she had been waiting for. Maybe she hadn't wanted to leave at all. Maybe all she needed was a friend to come find her. Or maybe she was just weak. She turned, knowing the voice despite the husky, scratchy sounds that had infiltrated it. It was Kaj, no doubt about it. And when she saw him, she knew it was not only she that was weak, but him. But she was weaker. And as he hobbled towards her, she hobbled back, the burns preventing her from moving too fast, but not preventing her from this reunion that, perhaps, she had been secretly longing for.

As they joined, and Kaj brushed his muzzle against her neck, she tried to brush back, gentle at first, because she was scared. What if she should turn back, what if she should become that monster again, bite him, tear him to shreds, rip him apart and leave him mottled and even more broken. Gods. If she did that to him. A choked back a sob, but suddenly caution gave way to need. She tried to press harder against him, just her head into his neck, but she found she needed that warmth, required it to live. How long had she been alone? Spurred into motion by the closeness to another, the scorpion automaton moved down her neck to settled at her withers, but she hardly felt it. And eventually she remembered the pain in his voice, the way he had struggled to come to her, and she stopped pressing, murmurs of “I'm sorry, so sorry,” overlaying Kaj's voice as he started speaking to her again.

But as he said he had been looking everywhere, her voice started tumbling out, too many words trying to get said at once. She just couldn't wait. He had to know. The words had to be said, because what if... Oh god, what if. “You wouldn't want... I was attacked... My friends... Kaj... Aaron! I bit him!” And through those fragmented words, blue eyes straining to look into Kaj's own, she tried to tell him her story, and she was greeted with timely words. Hush. And something in the way he said it made her fall silent, the way he took control when she was losing it with every choice she made. Hush. She clung to the word, hung on it, grabbed it, repeated it, pressed it against her heart. Kaj was here now. Hush.

And the caves. She shuddered just to hear about them, to remember the monster that had attacked them, to remember the feelings that he had forced her to know. Her past, her brother, her family. Being alone. Perhaps he had not been so evil, she might have wondered, if she were in a state to think such things. Perhaps he had been an omen, a warning, and they had never listened. He had been the harbinger of the death storm that had followed, the spear point that had brought upon this whole darkness. And all she could do was look at the pegasus before her, body shaking, scabbed legs screaming at her to stop, hoping he wasn't telling the truth. The cave. Where.... Hush.

But the stallion was insistent, demanding she hurry, and she was so confused, the need for immediate action conflicting with her desire to just sit here and cry, to turn towards Helovia's border and run away where she wouldn't be a threat. But he was Kaj and she was weak, and she would always follow him. He was her king, he was her friend, he was something more that she could not name. But whatever he was, she knew, somehow, in head and heart, that she could never turn away from him. I only want you safe.

And because she was scared, because she could not help herself, she tried once more to press her nose against his neck, to feel that warmth, to know that he lived, to try and test herself, making sure she could resist biting him, making sure that she would not turn on him the way she had turned on everyone else. “Kaj... they're going to hate me,” she murmured into his skin, shaking her head, sighing, before pulling away. Nevertheless, she began to walk, turning back towards Helovia's Heart, back to the fire bit that boiled endlessly, back to the caves that were her living nightmare, back to the underground that hid demons and broken memories. But she could do this, with Kaj at her side.

And as she walked, the pull of the scabs against her legs reminded her once more of Lena healing her, of Imogen jumping towards her, of fire eating at her hair and flesh. Fire, which reminded her then of something else. Something he had to know. Because better he know now, before he braved the inky shadows for her, in case he should wish to disown her. “Kaj,” she murmured, even quieter now, voice shaky for so many reasons, as though whispering might make the worry she felt go away, repeating his name, to make sure he was really still there, not just a figment of her imagination. “There's something else I need to tell you...” She had been trying so hard to put herself in his good graces, to live as he had said she should live, to make things better with their unicorn brethren and not worse. She had tried so hard, worked through problems she had no solution for, come out on the other side. Had she gone to far. “Do you... do you know Mauja?” Hush.