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01-28-2014, 07:25 PM
I wasn't sure what I was doing. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing. Grief was every part of my frame, but I couldn't be sure. There was a sickening feeling, the way that all the memories seemed to cling to my soul and drag me down. Memories of pain and loss - mirroring the emotions that were spinning around me, spinning through me. Would I ever find a way to be whole again? Would I ever manage to pull myself together enough to make things right? Would I ever be that person who everyone thought I was? Would I ever be able to be that strong leader? Would I ever be myself? I wasn't sure where my hooves were dragging me. I wasn't sure where the clicking of the hooves were headed but I didn't care. Perhaps if I headed out into the darkness I would be able to make them stop worrying about me. Perhaps I would be able to feel like I didn't care - like I didn't have to exist. Was that where my body was dragging me? I didn't feel it until the shift in my weight placed me on an incline, and I blinked the tears away from my eyes. Finally, I began to peer out, taking in the shadows that were looming in the sky around the cave, the darkness that was emanating from every pore. Today was as good of a day to die as any. Perhaps if I just kept moving I would be able to hide myself from the world. But I doubted it. And, when I heard the sound of more hooves clicking along the stone of the caverns I felt my body freeze, not even two steps from heading outside - from disappearing into the shadows. Alleo will find you and murdering you for doing this to yourself. You can't leave. But I don't know if it's that thought that keeps me anchored to the ground - the thought that someone cares - or if it is just the fear of having someone watch me as I try to go...  |
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Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say
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Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say
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