I'd broken him. I'd done too much too quickly. This entire mess was my fault. And I couldn't fix it. He didn't do anything as my muzzle pressed up near his own, just kept on grazing as if mine wasn't even there. There was a new tightness in my chest at the thought that he might not care. The emotions were twisting around in my head. I couldn't really place any of them, at least not with their real names. I was confused as to why I felt hurt for no reason. Confused as to why so much guilt radiated as I felt him still completely when my maw pressed against his heart. So much sadness at the thought that he might think I was only staying by him for the protection - at the thought that he was only staying by me because he had promised.

He sucks in a deep breath and raises his head just enough so that his sound isn't screwed up. His voice is quiet, broken. His ears falling back against his head as he speaks. I'd hurt him. I try to meet his gaze, but he seemed to only want to look at me out of the corner of his eyes and the gaze that is meant to be an apology just won't meet his.

And then he was blinking and looking away from me. Tears slide from my eyes again, turning my head away for a second as I attempt to blink them out of the way. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you... But he couldn't hear that. I couldn't speak to him. I couldn't explain it. How was I so good at screwing things up? Just... how?!

His voice is quiet, and I just manage to even catch what he's said. It looks good on me? Was that even possible? Nothing could look good on me. Nothing could, nothing had. But the thought mattered more to me than the fact that I didn't think I actually looked good. My head tilts to the side a little, ears perking up a little bit. Did he mean it? Did he really mean it?

All the emotions are twisting around. And, as I try to sort through them only one keeps popping back up in my head. Love. And the realization of that has my heart starting to race a little bit. Am I really capable of this? Can someone as broken as I be allowed to feel such a strong emotion? Do I actually still have this ability to understand what I'm doing?

But I don't care if I have the ability anymore. I want him to know I care, even if I'm slightly confused on how to show it without it looking like I just want the protection. I try to press up against his side, lipping at his heart a little bit and then trying to play with his ear if he would allow it. I care. I care. I really do care! Please... Just don't be mad... I tremble a little bit, anxiety of being shoved away - of the feelings not being returned as they welled up inside of me - is sliding through my limbs. Could he understand it? Would he understand it? Would he accept it? Or would he think I was stupid and only be staying to keep his promise? It was slowly tearing me apart - not being able to say anything, to let him know I really did care - that it wasn't just for protection anymore, it was for the idea of happiness that I'd never thought I'd be able to get close enough to find.