That shaking, pitiful movement he used weakened her, if there was any strength left in her pathetic body. But it was those eyes, those deadened eyes, that stayed her now as she whispered apologies and questions. Plans speeding through her mind as she tried to come to terms with what she was seeing.
Surely she was wrapped in some terrible nightmare?
But no, not even the darkest of her subconscious thoughts could dig this up. The shock of his shout left her speechless, shocking the tears from her eyes as she took a step back so that one hoof rested on the slope that led back down into the caverns. In all the time that she had known Miykael, he had never raised his voice to anyone – and never spoken with such malice. In all the time she knew him, she had never truly believed he might be a demon as he actually was in Nocturne.
Not until now.
She worried that someone might hear his shouts, that they would come to investigate and attack him, but then more words came from him – that voice that was had none of his usual softness and warm was striking at her again. And she was confused, so confused. “Mikey you know I love you.” Because of course she did. Not even now did she realize that maybe he meant it differently than she did, in the casual way she used the term for him. She adored him, the great sunny stallion that had healed her when she had fallen down – who cared for her the way she had only been cared for by her family. And that was what he was to her. “You’re my family.”
Unable to find words, she just shook her head – fighting back the tears as he mentioned how he had died for her. No, he wasn’t dead, she could not believe that. He was here, in front of her, but this wasn’t her Mikey. That pointed smile made her shiver. That was the smile of a predator, not her guardian angel. “I never asked you to…” To jump in front of them, to come after her – to uproot his life for her. That had never been what she wanted – and her joy at seeing him here in Helovia felt like a thorn twisting into her heart. He had a family and where he was now was all her fault. She had never wanted this.
And then worse than the shouting were the venomous words being spat at her, as though everything nice he had done for her was some how her fault – because she had another mate? The truth of the words about Sasha hurt, but it was nothing she hadn’t agonized over on her own. “What… he didn’t… he’ll be back.” She knew it sounded stubborn and ridiculous in her meek voice but she believed it so wholeheartedly. At some point they would be together again and the time they spent apart wouldn’t matter. She would happily wait for the rest of her life with the promise of seeing him one more time.
Her confusion over what was being said was plain, a delicate frown in the eyes that followed him as he moved to the side. “I didn’t mean to leave you. Or choose him…” When had it been a choice? She had fallen, and fallen hard, for Sasha. But she’d be lying if she said having a choice would change anything. The love she felt for the two stallions was so different right from the beginning, as different as they were from each other. Didn’t he know that? “Mikey what are you saying? This isn’t you. Please. Come inside and we’ll find someone, maybe Resplendence will know what to do.” Her hopeful voice repeating her pleads from moments ago as she took another step, logic screaming at her to stay where she was. Funny how that little internal warning didn’t even sound like her own, but instead like the healer’s soft voice.
But of course she couldn’t just stay still, because he was right. She did leave him and that would never happen again.
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[P] when you feel my heat, look into my eyes [Alysanne]
