That condescending laugh, the sting in his voice, this was not the Miykael she knew. Whatever the infection was, it had twisted him. There was no way this could be what he was truly like, this was not really him. Maybe what he was saying wasn’t even true, that he loved her? Her voice was pained when she finally found it “Mikey… I…” but what could she even say? She didn’t love him, not like that. He had been her best friend these past few years, always there for her. Had it been with ulterior motives? No, she would not believe that.
Her eyes wide as he yelled at her, heart wrenching. It was too much. The accusations about Sasha, his proclamation of love, she didn’t want to deal with this. She didn’t want this to be her life. And it was all her fault. If she had only paid more attention could they have dealt with it sooner, more calmly.
She knew her attempt at arguing was weak – it had never been something she was good at. It had never been something she had to do before. “No. Stop it.” She had been through this already and she had conquered it. This demon was only trying to hurt her. She never wanted to be loved more than Kostya, how could she ever expect that? That would be horrible of her. There would be no one that she could love more than her own twin, and she knew that the dark brothers were closer than any siblings she had ever known. They were extensions of each other, so similar and so different – to see one without the other still seemed strange to her.
She was not nothing to him. But she would not argue the point any further, not give in to whatever was before her, trying to make her doubt what.
When his voice turned shaky, telling her that he could not go down to where they were all staying safe, Alysanne felt hope. He didn’t seem angry anymore, maybe she could convince him yet.
But then he regained his face, those once beautiful features contorting into something terrible as he spoke again. At first, she didn’t realize what he was saying, but as he continued she let loose a gasp – emerald eyes widening to show the whites as the information sunk in. Everything else that he had spewed so far just faded away as she was slapped with this reality. Not only that she had been attacked – but that he had gone into her mind, that he had changed things, altered her past. Altered who she was as a result.
Violated was not a strong enough word for what she felt.
She didn’t want to believe it, perhaps this ghastly creature was spinning lies the way it had about Sasha. “You… did… what?” The words come between gasps as she wrestled with this new information. Could her world ever stay put for more than a moment?
And the worst part was that it made sense. “My scars…” She remembered being wounded, remembered Sasha’s face as she had stumbled towards him – bloody and torn and confessing her pregnancy. Remembered how he had tried so hard to heal her before they both passed out (remembered realizing he loved her then). She remembered how she had met Mikey not long after that, the cute little otter who was so careful with her as he healed away those wounds.
But she remembered nothing else. She tried to remember actually being attacked but her mind slid off of the memory. There was just nothing there. The spinning feeling made her feel nauseous. She had thought it was another animal, a cougar picking on her in her vulnerable state. It made sense. But a demon. Was that the true reason why her twin had those nightmares? They hadn’t spent a lot of time together after that… Was this why? So that Iona could protect her?
“How could you?” Her voice was so small, maybe she was giving in. There were things that would be wonderful to forget, she knew - this entire experience, for one - but she would never choose to actually go through with something like that. And to have that choice taken away from her?
She felt winded and she could not get the spinning in her mind to stop. She knew what she had to do then, hesitating for a moment as she wondered whether she would just be betraying him more.
No, it wasn’t betrayal. Nothing seemed like betrayal compared to how she felt in those moments. Whatever he had done to her, he still needed her help. But she needed some help too. So while keeping an eye on him, she raised her voice. “SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! ONE OF THEM IS HERE!” She could not get him to the healing waters herself, even if she was feeling particularly strong.
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[P] when you feel my heat, look into my eyes [Alysanne]
