Something special resides in the tiny fae that stands before the kindly warrior. It is seen in the way he relaxes, the way he trusts her despite having just met her, the comfort he finds in her words and the look in her eyes. Nayati has always been a calming presence, and though she can fight should the need ever arise, her strongest qualities were the ones that lay within her ability to soothe. Odd, considering she was the one who suffered from panic attacks and fears far darker than were fair for her age, but it was something she enjoyed. Healing people through words...now that was a gift. Perhaps not as vital or desired as the physical healing of wounds, but she would take what she could. "I fear not. Last I saw of our Forsaken, she was leaving Helovia. She is safe, by my knowledge, from the plague that is upon the peninsula. Whether she returned or not I am unaware." None of it is a lie, but it is said in such a softness of tone that it is clearly meant to comfort and soothe the worries of the distressed brute before her. Though he is good at concealing it, Nayati reads faces as well as her own. He is worried for his queen.
There is a moment of silence in which Locket smiles at her preference of words and titles by which she calls him, eyes flickering belatedly up to Rathunax once more. The crimson child gives a soft 'ryuu' of dislike, though it is hard for any to make a positive impression upon him regardless. He does not like the envy in the stare of the warrior, even if it is not a dracon he seeks for company. He is indignant, for he knows the trials Nayati faced in order to obtain him, and is enraged that this fellow yearns for something with such simplicity of mind. Nayati hushes him, for she does not judge another for their loneliness, and however they go about it is none of her business. Just because she had suffered through trial after trial to rid herself of that particular plague did not mean all others had to.
The longing is evident in Locket's eyes, and Nayati gives a soft hum of contemplation. "It is a difficult, but rewarding type of bond. He is me, and I him. We are one and the same. When I cry, he feels sorrow, and when he hungers, I desire to find food. We clash, for we are still independent spirits of our own, and it hurts. To fight, when heart and mind are connected, is the same as inflicting a wound upon your own skin for a prolonged length of time." Rathunax gave a soft 'ryuu' of sadness, as if apologizing for all the times in the past where they had fought, few though they were in his youth. He still regretted them, even if he made the same mistakes time and again. The fire in him was strong, and it burned his princess often enough for him to wish he could change. Nayati eyed Locket carefully, as if sizing him up for a future challenge he wasn't aware of. "As rewarding as it is, do not think it is without pain and sacrifice. Some think it is worth it. Others, unfortunately, do not. The look in your eyes is familiar to me, sir Locket. For your sake, I pray you find the path I did beneath your hooves."
She lets the conversation fall to his mind, to be mulled over and potentially remarked upon, as she strides beside him silent and comfortable. Flowers bloom up around her, baubles clicking enchantingly in her mane and tail, catching light and casting it in odd patterns across the walls and the ground. He depicts her as a heroine, finding her tale remarkable in a way she had not. For her, there was only loneliness and defeat, a desire to give up but a will to continue on that battled it time and again. "I am not so lucky as you may think, sir Locket. Just because I am bonded and have magic does not make me blessed. Perhaps it is your envy that speaks for you?" It is said mildly, not meant to offend, but to catch attention and draw it to what he is saying. "I awoke from an attack of panic and pain, which I suffer from quite frequently, unable to scream or breathe but wanting to. It was the night after I discovered my adopted mother of the Foothills- perhaps you recall her name, Svetlana- was killed by the Dauntless. It was then my flowers came to me. I ask myself often. Was the acquisition of my magic, meant to be comforting, worth the loss I felt and still feel from her death?" Her rubies focus upon his form, hoping he at least has the presence of mind to think over what she is offering him. Magic is no savior. Companions are no sign of luxury and goodwill. He is childish, in a pathetically sad but endearing way, to think magic can change your lot in life. It had not changed Nayati's after all.
Crown turns back to face forward as they walk, soft words spilling forth, trying to make him understand. "Maybe I am good, in some way, for wanting the innocents to go to a loving bonded. But lucky? No. Romani, a warrior of the Foothills, the only other mother I knew, swore to forget me in order to receive her companion. She was without memory for seasons, and it was the worst pain I have ever experienced. I have suffered much because of magic. But it has also given me much in return. I am not lucky. I am merely repaid in magic what I have lost in heart and life. Sometimes I question if it is truly an equivalent exchange. But I would forego everything, my flowers, my magic. Never Rathunax. He is all I have, now. I am still but a foal, and with no friends, no family, no home or title to be remembered by. If I were to die today, you may recall me for a few moons, and then I would be naught but a memory remembered by none." Despite the topic she speaks on, her tone is complacent and calm, for she has accepted her lot in life.
Having been without company for so long, she is truly rambling, and she flicks an ear and gazes back up at Locket for a moment. "My apologies, sir Locket, for I am rambling on. I merely hear so much of greedy mortals vying for magic, thinking it is the end-all, that it can fix everything in their lives. They do not realize that it is a falsehood, a trickery. I shall speak no more on the topic, and you have my apologies if I have somehow offended you." There, that was sure to fix things...right? Nayati was either very fluid and good with others, or a terrible wreck due to lack of association and company. It seemed today she would be flipping from one end to the other at lightning speed. His words stopped her pace for a moment, stumbling over her hooves. Sadness crumpled her face like a wilting flower, and she cast her face away from him, trying to conceal it.
"Close to me...I did. Long ago, it feels. His name was Bale. He was my only friend, and what I felt for him I see now was love. He desired to leave Helovia, and I let him go. Love is selfless, sir Locket. His happiness may have lay away from here, and I may have traveled with him, but I did not. I am not so easy to love, I'm afraid. I let him go, so that he may have the chance to find love elsewhere. Sometimes...friendship and closeness to one you love in an unrequited manner is better than confessing and eradicating all normality." Her eyes clenched shut, an emotional pain reflected in the mirror of her face, and she retreated into the painful silence of her memories.
----
That was probably the best post I've ever made and I'm so proud I could cry
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
