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02-16-2014, 04:44 PM
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Carnesîr;
Gone! So the stars fled from the arching halls of the midnight sky, dissipated in obsidian smoke, and how he longed to run with them, vanish from Helovia- Helovia, the cursed place! Yet they did not have the courtesy to speak their tearful farewells, no, they eloped off the moon and did not look back to the elvish boy scrupulously charting their movements. Damn them! Damn them all, traitors and cowards and chortling fiends! They had not warned him of this, this, this resident and preposterous evil that swarmed up and ate- devoured- the earth! Carnesîr the elvish boy, the craven child, had squealed with fright and shrieked as the darkness chewed on the soft red of his tender, foolish heart. Faica umbar, his family would say to him; but he was convinced that somehow this was his fault. Oh! Eternal darkness to shroud the earth, surely not! But it was. It was he who left Shadow when she birthed in blood and pain, scared of his own yonya, convinced the colt of his own seed would reject him. He was but a child, straight-legged and slender-boned, wide-eyed and disbelieving of earth's magic; how could he be expected to raise a boy? Of one thing he was certain: he could only mess up, again and again and again, as he had done for the entirety of his miserable short life. It writhed in him, paranoia and terror, a niggling and astute belief of his inability to be a proper parent; and he had doomed the entirety of Helovia because of it! Shadows black crawled and seethed across the surface of the earth- shadows black as his melda heri Shadow. It must be connected to the devastating truth that he knew and knows and had known: he was a coward, a craven king crowned only with his own atrocious acts of treachery, wallowing in his self-pity, suffocating in the knowledge he deserved death for deserting a child and his bleeding mother. He comforted himself with heart-wrenching guilt-ridden lies! Tenna enta lúmë, Carnesîr had told himself. And yet- and yet!- that time had come and gone when he lurked around hoping Shadow would be okay, instead of making her okay! Oh, he sobbed; he sobbed himself a river not once, but twice, and his tears had run dry, the elvish prince a child, at a loss in this desolate world. Always did he look, but never did he find, and he went to increasingly desperate measures. Indeed, the star-loving sun lord had ventured into the unimaginable horrors of the dark reigning above outside; flinching at every rustle, leaping at every sound, and then he slunk back to the caves with his skull down and his cleft hooves dragging. It was but another of his futile attempts. What if they had been eaten? Or worse, turned into one of the undead lurking? In silent vigil he stood sentry at the fountain, surrounding by the history he had loved, the history he had no desire to decipher- For he had failed his family for the thousandth time. |
art by aeolle
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