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TYRADON
Realism [+2]
He arrests the momentum in his forequarters, using his front hooves as pivots; his hindlegs continue to swing to his left around them, until he hopes to face Déodat's right side in a T-shape. I'm not really sure Tyradon would have had enough time to do all of this and then still jump forward to try and attack Deo. Definitely make sure to keep in mind that Tyradon is quite large and speed is not one of his finer qualities.
 the demonic reptile swoops, approaching from behind the unicorn until the very last moment, I know Deodat has already stated his position, but since you're basically doing a counter attack this point, introducing new information to the spar that would have previously been unknown, just be cautious about giving absolute locations relative to your opponent.
She directs the torrent at the area that hangs beneath the unicorn's thighs, This was borderline power-play for me, based on the fact that it was already questionable whether the dragon would have been under Deodat or not, but I didn't necessarily count off for it. Tried to direct her flame, or tried to aim her flame might have been better choices in this case!
:: You mention taking Deodat's horn attack to the face on Tyradon's left side, but then your next injury comes on the right side. Make sure to double check your directions.
 Tyradon loses no time in throwing his weight forwards onto his forelegs, With Deodat galloping, I really don't think Tyradon would have enough time to jump forward and then kick out at him. Remember that Tyradon is fairly large and his agility and speed are only 4.
:: Overall, I thought you primarily needed to spend more time describing the damage that Tyradon took and maintaining that damage throughout the entirety of the fight. Most of Deodat's attacks were mentioned once but the damage never came into play later on in the fight.


Emotion [+2.5]
:: I thought you did a really excellent job not only writing about Tyradon's feelings, but really making me feel them. The only time I really lost it was during your defense/attack sequence in post two, as it got a little confusing and difficult to read.


Prose [+4.5]
:: You're writing was excellent and I noticed few, if any, errors. It was simply a pleasure to read. The only problem I had was the attack/defense sequence in post two. I hate to keep taking points off for it, but it was so confusing to me that it really affected every portion of the rubric.


Readability [+1.5]
:: The defense/attack sequence in the second post was very confusing to me and I spent quite a bit of time reading and re-reading to try and figure out exactly what was going on. A lot of my confusion had to do with directions, as you started by saying the attack was on the left side but later you are taking damage on the right side, but the wording was sometimes difficult to follow as well.


Finally tally: 17+10.5= 27.5HP

:: Overall, I thought you did rather well, considering the array of low dice rolls that littered the end of this fight. Other than what is written above, my primary complaint is that your font size is excessively small. I had to have the page zoomed in quite far to read the posts. Please make sure to use a table that has clearly legible font for battle, as it really improves the ease of judging.



DEODAT
Realism [+2]
:: I would have liked a lot more mention of Tyradon's attack and how it affected Deodat. You only gave a couple of sentences and then more-or-less ignored it for the remainder of your post. There definitely should have been some bruising affecting him.
With every force he had, he lifted himself up onto hindlegs and flung out both of his hooves aiming toward his opponent’s right shoulder. Based on the movements Deodat made, I'm reasonably certain that you meant Deodat lifted himself up onto his front legs. Definitely watch for stuff like this.
:: Tyradon wrote the buck and the dragon attack happening at the same time, as far as I could tell, but you wrote them as two very separate events. Make sure not to change what your opponent has written!
:: Remember that injuries don't just happen and then disappear, I'd love if you would have included more mention of his injuries throughout the fight, and how they were affecting him.


Emotion [+1.5]
You definitely included Deodat's emotions and what he was feeling, but I never really felt grabbed and drawn into his emotions. Try to work on Deodat's actions making the emotion real, instead of just describing them.


Prose [+3.5]
Déodat glanced over at the other beast they began to stand parallel to one another. As they began.
it meant he gave enough shits inflict such pain. To inflict such pain.
:: Other than a few mistakes such as the ones listed above, the writing was clear and mostly mistake free. There was a little bit of blandness to it from time to time, as a lot of the same words seemed to appear over and over again. I'm certainly not advocating thesaurus abuse, but a little variety can add interest for the reader. It definitely shows that you took time to thoroughly check your writing before posting!


Readability [+2]
:: No major errors. I did have to reread once or twice for some direction/movement clarification, but for the most part the fight was well written. Thank you!

Finally tally: 33+9= 42HP

:: Good job coming up with reasons that Deodat would have injured himself. Other than this, my only complaint is the small font size on your table. I had to have the page zoomed in quite far to read. In the future, just be sure to use a table with clearly legible font for ease of judging. Thank you!