Kahlua

If she had known the darkness that lay in his heart, that circulated through his brain after she had spoken, would she stand so easily before him? Would she still trust him to the end of the world and back? Was it even fair to judge him for what secrets he kept inside, or did it only matter what he chose to say aloud? After all, she had stood here just moments ago and thought herself that she was jealous of his favor with the gods- that he had been gifted magic, two companions, life when he could have been hunted down like a dog and killed by the revenge-seeking Qian. Should she be shunned for having a darkness to her heart? Didn't everyone? Still, it was probably better her tender heart didn't know what shadows covered Mauja's.

And though he congratulated her, in a sense, somehow the painted girl was expecting more. What? A dance, a hug, a whinny, some excitement? Who knows. But she brushed aside what little disappointment she had quickly enough- she had celebrated enough with Kaj and friends to last her for quite some time. And well... it would be better for her to grow accustomed to Mauja's frosty exterior sooner rather than later. Deciding you're someone's champion and friend when you hardly know them leaves lots of room for little surprises here and there- everywhere. But she was flexible, moldable... so long as he didn't break her heart again, dampen her sunshine with death, then certainly she could roll with whatever surprises he gave her.

And in time, after she followed his eyes to the soaring Irma, the girl came up with her own whimsical surprise. “Mauja, come home with me,” she said, voice speeding up slightly as she grew more excited. “Home for good, to the Edge, where you belong.” And her impulse carried on, running away with her, her mind dancing in flashes of brilliant images of the her and Frostheart frolicking through the forested land together- not that she supposed he frolicked.

But as quickly as her mind danced away with her, as quickly as she dreamed up this happiness, she remembered her conversation with Kaj in the woods. “Kaj still wants a trial first but... But he's kind and smart, he'll understand.” And the little hint of pleading in her voice- was it for Mauja or Kaj? Did she really trust that Kaj would do the right thing? It wasn't even a question. She would have walked off a cliff if Kaj told her it was the only way. And still... she worried, because she wanted everything to go right. Or maybe it wasn't Kaj she was worried about at all.

Was it Aaron she was remembering, Lace, Vikram, the rest of the family? Would they really be so understanding? And in that moment she finally realized the full weight of what she had done, what she had promised. Because to promise herself to Mauja, to stand beside him and fight for his rights, was going to mean potentially alienating some of those horses she had come to call family. Because Kaj was a gentle giant, but too many of them were not. Would she really see them leave the Edge, if it came to that, for Mauja's deserved peace?

And in that moment her smile began to fade.