He couldn't even look at me anymore, Momma, and I couldn't help but wonder if he had figured it out. I had become something so disgusting that I could't even fathom it. I was weak and unable to fight off the plague that had tainted my body, my blood, my heart. Not even my soul had been untouched and it hurt to wonder why it had been me that had been tainted and not Roskuld, who was so smart-mouthed she was bound to make enemies with everyone she met. Why had it not been daddy? Why me? What had I done to deserve it? It hurt to wonder and think that others had been more deserving of a curse than I...

I hate myself for it.

The frown on his face and the way he stared out into the distance made me want to disappear and not disgrace him with my unworthy presence. That had to be it, right? I had been chosen because I was unworthy of being pure? I know I'll never have the answer to why and I'll never understand but I'll never stop wondering and trying to, Momma. As much as I wanted to give in and take to the sky and fly away as fast as I could I didn't. Instead I picked the feather up and tucked it into his mane and was surprised nd relieved when he 'gladly' accepted my feather. I had kind of expected for him to say he didn't want it and that was why he returned it.

When the feather was secure I stepped back, stared at it for a moment, then let my eyes fall to the ground again. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know what to say. Maybe he would grow bored of my silence just go away. I deserved to be alone, anyway, so I wouldn't hold it against him if he did.

Instead of leaving he spoke to me and with each word he said tears welled in my eyes and spilled over when I felt his muzzle touch against my cheek. But he didn't know. He didn't know how I had hurt my family. My family was all I had, I didn't have any friends that I could call my own. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and stem the flow of tears, but they were endless and pushed their way through and left me a simpering, crying mess in front of a stallion that I barely knew. Through my sobbing I could hear him, and though he didn't go into specifics it was ... nice to know that someone else carried a heavy burden.

"I .. I tried to kill them." I whispered. How badly would he hate me if he knew that I was the one that attacked Kahlua in the World's Edge and changed her into a monster? "I d-did everyth-thing I c-could to hurt them. I h-h-hated them!" My heart broke into a million different pieces to admit that I had hated my family, but I did. "I couldn't s-stop it. I couldn't... I watched. I saw their f-faces. I-I heard th-heir voices. But.. I couldn't stop it... because I'm weak. Useless." You must be so disappointed to have me as a daughter, Momma.

Moments passed and I said nothing more and I didn't want to, but Dragomir had shared something with me that he hadn't shared with anyone else. "What did you do?" My voice came out as a whisper and I failed to meet his gaze, afraid of the judgement and disgust that I might see there.

@[Dragomir]

"."

ooc:// i kinda love you and this thread <3