ERIS
Realism [+1.5]
Overall you have a good grip on fighting and the appropriate reactions and responses, but there were a few small things throughout the fight that brought you score down, and most of it could be amended by just utilizing your time and word count to fully describe something better. For instance in your first post you say:
“The Empress planned to scrape her sharpened and deadly hooves down Oxy's legs”
However nothing in the records says she has sharper hooves than normal, nothing in your post talked about why or how the hooves are sharper than normal, and nothing is even in your profile about it. So, this was marked down because realistically horses do not have sharp hooves.
Then also in your first post you said:
“Oh how she desired to sink her teeth into the flesh of his chest and taste the life blood that flowed through him. Should she be able to bite her teeth into his chest, The Empress would dig out his heart.”
This does not seem to be an attack, just a thought, with the way you worded it, although I know it was meant as an attack, so just be careful with that. Additionally she cannot dig out his heart, she can try, but her teeth are not capable of it so with the way it’s worded it’s not plausible.
Additionally in your fourth post you mention her struggling with mud, but this entire fight it seemed to be snow, so although snow can become mud given the right terrain, it just took me by surprise because all of the sudden that word came out of nowhere with no explanation for how the mud appeared, so although I very much enjoyed you mentioning your surroundings and how they affected you, in the end it was the wrong terrain.

You did do a fantastic job of mentioning the breed and stat differences between Oxy and Eris all throughout the fight, although it was not often that I saw those differences actually used to explain why a certain attack/defense would work out better or worse. You responded well to Oxy’s magic, though I think you could have emphasized it more considering what a surprising and strong attack it is (as you cannot actually see anything happening, you just feel pain). II thought you had a great reaction to the head injury and the critical hit, though I would have liked to see more emphasis on that injury the rest of the fight because at least 2 times after you made attacks that dealt with using her head, which really she probably would have been in so much pain she would have severely guarded her head. I also didn’t see any mention of the damage she took from her critical miss in your last post.

But again overall you had good attacks and defenses and great timing to everything, I was never confused in this fight. So going forward just work on detailing and describing more, even a couple extra words can make a difference, to create the reality for your opponent and your judge that you have in your head.


Emotion [+2]
This fight was really enjoyable to read because of the spiteful relationship existing between Eris and Oxy. I chuckled a few times and definitely found Eris to be thoroughly creepy with all her songs and screams. I did feel your emotion was strongest in the beginning and end post though, so don’t forget to stay with it all throughout the fight!


Prose [+3]
You have lovely writing!


Readability [+2]
Everything was always clear, although your third post was not as strong in regards to grammar and sentence structure, but I never saw any major issues that distracted me or made it difficult to read.


Finally tally: 11+8.5= 19.5 HP


OXY
Realism [+3.5]
You’ve got great responses to attacks and defenses that make everything seem very plausible and realistic. I think the opening post with Oxy taking Eris’ full attack made sense for the character and the way you described it, but because of that and the dice roll amount I really think more damage should have been sustained. All during the rest of the fight though I thought you took appropriate injury and routinely mentioned those injuries and how they affected you, such as bucking instead of rearing due to that injured back leg that Eris bit down on, loved it! I really enjoyed Oxy using his magic on himself as well, although again, like Eris, I would have expected more of a pain response from it. I also would have liked to see more mention of their breed and stat differences, especially considering how different these two are. You mentioned your surroundings often and even had yourself slip on the snow which I loved, especially as it was due to Oxy’s horseshoes which would normally be considered an advantage. Great job all around!


Emotion [+2]
Oxy is always such an interesting character to read because you portray his emotions so well in every post, and you do not disappoint within a fight. There was a nice mixture of hatred for Eris and Oxy struggling with himself for his locoweed, and his motives for this fight were very clear all throughout.


Prose [+3]
You’ve really got such fantastic writing!


Readability [+2]
All your posts were always easy to read, but you did have a few minor typos that I caught, however overall you had great sentence structure and grammar.
Third post: vile not vial
Fourth post: remember not remembered


Finally tally: 46.5+10.5= 57 HP