Nothing. I had given him a free pass to taunt me, but he did nothing. Just stood there, staring at me, his lips slightly parted - or was that an illusion? - but no words coming out. I took this moment of silence to observe him, eyeing every inch of him and feeling something inside of my snapping on my heartstrings. This was my Fallen King, my stallion of Frost who had recruited me to his family when I had been in need, and nothing could ever change that. My King, whom I had betrayed for a simple love song which had ended in disaster. And when he finally spoke, I swear - it was the most confusing shit I had ever heard in my life.
"I don't see the sun anymore. Everything is just gray, and shallow. It's like I've forgotten how to run, or even walk—I'm just crawling through the gray sand by a waterless ocean. And sometimes, I think I hear a bird chirping, or catch a glimpse of sunlight striking waves, but there is nothing but a wasteland of dust... I've died within, but my body lives on."

Okay, hold on. I looked at him, into his blue eyes, with probably the most confused look on my face. You sure are something special, aren't you? But who am I to say that? Letting out a heavy sigh, I took a step closer to him, my head in level with his and my eyes locked on his. Our... companionship, was something I barely could wrap my head around. What were we? Enemies? Friends? Nothing? I parted my scarred lips, but closed them again. What was I going to say to that poem he had just spoken?
"Open your eyes again. You are not dead, you are fully alive. You just have to feel the sun showering it's light onto you, feel..." I took a step closer and I was ready for the feeling when my shoulder hit against his, if he only continued to stay still. "...this. Can you reach deep inside and feel how your heart beats when I'm this close to you?" Slowly, I backed away again, letting out a sigh as if I had stopped breathing for a few seconds. "You would fit in with the Asylum, I think." I looked up at him. "If you really are as crazy as you say. They welcome horses like you... Like me."

I shook my head and started to walk onto the ground again, away from the weird water that allowed me to walk on it. "I've missed your chaos, Mauja FrostHeart," I smiled and glanced at him. He was a memory of someone whom I used to be, something that would never be me again. "I... Thanks." I said and with that, I walked towards the forest. Dezba came running out of it's shadows, staring at me and flickering around me like a ring of flames. You alright? No hurt? How's he? Her questions echoed in my head and I cringed, frowning. STOP! The jaguar did so, staring at me and glancing at Mauja continuously. You upset? What happened? He did something? What he do? Just fucking shut up and let's go home. The feline's ears pointed back and she let her head hang low as she walked up next to me. Sorry mother...

When we were in the shadows of the forest, I broke. Tears just started to fall from the corners of my eyes and I tried my hardest not to bawl so that Mauja would hear me. My legs failed me and I fell to the ground, crying like I had just said goodbye to the memory I had relied on the most. Why was I still alive? Why didn't I just say goodbye to my children, gave them to someone lovely and jumped off a cliff? I wanted to die. I wanted to fucking die, but I couldn't. I had nobody left by my side, nobody but my kids and even they despised me. Maybe even hated me. I was a horrible mother, a mare who left their kids time after time after time and never even watched them so that nothing would hurt them. I hiccuped and then I couldn't stop the bawling anymore. I bellowed, yelled out my sorrow and anger and fucking everything, just screaming. It hurt. It hurt to be alone with only emptiness in your heart and nobody around to fill it. Azarel and Destry were my treasures, but they would leave me too. They would all leave me and I would die all fucking alone.

Dezba sat down in front of me, looking at me through sorrowful eyes and laid a single paw on my front leg. I looked up at her, my blue orbs swollen and red-cornered, and she licked my face, across the scars that crossed my nose-bridge. I never leave you. Forever and eternity, I be there for you. Love, mother. I closed my eyes and felt her crawl close to me, lying down between my front legs and snuggling up against the crease between my neck and shoulder. Forever.

"Talking"
Delinne's thoughts
Dezba's thoughts

ooc // ;______;
word count // 856
tags // -