Aurelia
Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.

"aurelia talk"
After I tell him differences can make us strong, he narrows his eyes at me. I'm a little taken aback, and I can feel my nerves start to rise. I'm not scared, but confused. Why is he reacting to me like this? Is the thought of him and I, two differents, so appalling? Suddenly, his voice can be heard, but I wish it couldn't. I listen with respect, for there is no need to cut him off and make him furious. "And you can lie to yourself and warp the world to fit your picture of the lonely, unwanted, unloved Aurelia!" he says without a trace of humor in his tone. I look at him, and he holds my gaze steadily, impassively. My heartbeat quickens, and I realize that Mauja is almost set off as easily as I am. I don't lie to myself. If I were to lie, I'd pretend everything is good and daddy. Why would I willingly try to be lonely and miserable? Why on earth would I want to be unwanted and unloved? My emotions are real not somthing I created in my head.

"The world was warped when I was born, Mauja." I pause for a moment and think about what I am going to say next. With a soft sigh, I continue. "Don't you think I want to be like Kahlua? In her world, it seems to be a clear, sunny day, all the time. Don't you think If I was trying to be someone, I would be someone like her?" I hope my question punches some logic into Mauja's frosted brain. Why doesn't he just understand?

His voice erupts into the air again. Why does he make me so uncomfortable? I want to leave, to fly away. I just can't bring myself to leave him. That is why I'm standing here, squirming uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze. I can't help thinking that we're talking about something else, but I'm absolutely mystified as to what it is. Why is he talking to me like this? He's made me feel like an errant child. "Easier said then done," My gaze slips away from his and I look at the ground. Each grain of sand holding my gaze, not allowing it to look up, back at Mauja. "and I may see things differently then you do. You see me lying, but I hear myself speaking the truth. And maybe not everyone hates me, but a lot of horses do. Maybe you don't hate me, but I'm sure I've pissed you off again."