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She strikes back, spitting at me with words that are like a slap across the face. I frown, looking at her in the darkness. "Sia? What is it?" Squinting to look at her through the rain, I bat my eyes to clear the rain from my lashes and furrow my brows. Why was she acting this way? I'm not any different from the last time I saw her. Maybe I look like I had a hangover.. maybe I had crazy eyes... I don't know. I turn to Sameira, who surveys me from afar. "Gone crazy." She mumbles, and I whip around to glare at the dark she-hound. She's not crazy! Sameira stands up, padding over to me and shaking her head. "Is crazy. Got crazy look." I give her a harsh look and she turns away, head swaying side to side. Just go Sameira— I'll call if I need you. No response. I don't bother to look back, instead looking at Sia.
Monster.
The word is spit out of her lips like a bullet, piercing my heart, leaving my mouth gaping, eyes growing with surprise. I have never felt any worse, and I hear her words mock me, suddenly hearing Mommy's voice too, cruel and twisted, in sync with Sia's. "You're the reason I'm like this!" I struggle, trying not to cry as I stand in the freezing rain. Her last three words echo... the last word sticking out the most. Blame— It was always me. I blame myself for Mommy's death, for that poor cat's injury, for Father's absence— for everything. I look at Sia, my stomach turning. I swallow, and the tears spill out as the knot in my throat fades, my body trembling.
"You know what Sia?! All I've ever wanted was to be accepted, not to look like some crazy bitch! But I can't do it! She's constantly there, taunting me, mocking me, telling me it was my fault, blaming me for what happened to her! Do you know how that feels, having your dead mother blame you for killing her? Do you know how that fucking feels?! It feels awful, and listening to your best friend tell you that you're the reason she wants to die—" I've begun to scream now, tears rolling down my cheeks, throat growing hoarse, body tense. "Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to you? All I've ever done for you is be kind, I've tried to make you happy when you're down— but now you turn into a bitch and shoot me down by pointing the finger." My words are falling from my lips at great volume, my body shaking with rage and regret, self hatred and a fear that I will never have my best friend back.
"I care so much about you Sia, and seeing you this way— hearing you talk this way — I'm so scared for you Sia." My voice softens, and I sob quietly for a moment, before looking up. "I just want the old Sia back... where have those times gone where we were happy? Where have they gone Sia— where?" I ask, looking at her with a sad expression painted upon my features. I was so hurt, my throat hoarse, body quaking, tears rolling down my cheeks. My body was soaked from the rainfall, my knees unsteady. What the fuck did I do to deserve this?
"words words words"
@[Sikeax]
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