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05-14-2014, 01:14 PM
Azarel
if love is what you need, a soldier I will be
if love is what you need, a soldier I will be
What had I grown to be? Was I really this emotionless, this irritated, nowadays? Or was it just this goddamn filly who kept following me? I mean, I liked her - admired her - but she was too clingy. Too... obsessed with love. I watched as she came closer to me, her head slightly hanging as if she was sad, and I felt my heart beating faster and faster with every step she took. She's going to give me a heart attack. Couldn't she stop somewhere that wasn't right next to me? "I don't know how you feel. It's impossible. But I know how I feel. And when I lose someone, it hurts." I closed my eyes again and cringed. She. Did. Not. Know. Anything. She was just a love-obsessed, clingy filly who sought attention wherever she went. My attention. "That sounds awful, Aza. Pain is such a... Horrible, horrible thing."
I waited for her to continue her never-ending chatting, but it had stopped. She was quiet. Why was she quiet now? "And Azarel... I know we aren't children..." Wow, she did? And I immediately wanted to slap myself for being so rude - that's not what Mother taught me. Silently, I waited for her to do something, to talk again, but instead I felt a light touch upon my poll. Don't touch me. She ruffled my hair. Don't fucking touch me. She stopped and I frowned, opening my eyes to glare at her when I saw she was looking at my face. I was dumbstruck, again, by her beauty and had to shake my head slightly. What was it about this filly that made my heart beat so fast? Why did she make me feel this funny? As I looked into her brown eyes, I saw pain.
Pain and sorrow were glazing her eyes and for a moment - for a second - I thought she knew me. Who I was and what I had experienced. But the spell broke when she spoke again, and once again - I frowned. "But am I wrong for wanting those carefree times back?" She would never understand, but I still told her. "I am not carefree anymore, Abishia. I fucking saw my mother get beaten up, raped, abused and my father died right in front of me without any last words and he didn't even fucking look at me." I stood up, careful not to drop Aslan who pinned his claws into my shoulders as his safety. "You're not wrong for wanting them, but you won't have them. Not right now at least... I have to take care of my mother - make her sane again - and I can't afford spilling love and promises that I won't keep." I looked away from the filly, closing my eyes as I took a step away from her. It hurt to say these things to her, but I had to.
For both my and her own sake.
"Meet me again when you've experienced love. And I don't mean this-" I turned my head and looked at her, pained tears filling my vision, and sighed loudly. "I mean the real thing. Goodbye, Abishia. I..." I couldn't continue, so I just left. My legs started to move, showing off the rippling muscles underneath my golden skin, and they carried me away far away from her, towards the World's Edge and Thistle Meadow. Aslan meowed loudly and bumped against my withers. I didn't say anything, and the silence eventually fell over us as we walked towards home in the light of the moon.
"I'm such an idiot."
"Talking."
ooc: ;-;
wordcount: 592
tags: @[Abishia]
I waited for her to continue her never-ending chatting, but it had stopped. She was quiet. Why was she quiet now? "And Azarel... I know we aren't children..." Wow, she did? And I immediately wanted to slap myself for being so rude - that's not what Mother taught me. Silently, I waited for her to do something, to talk again, but instead I felt a light touch upon my poll. Don't touch me. She ruffled my hair. Don't fucking touch me. She stopped and I frowned, opening my eyes to glare at her when I saw she was looking at my face. I was dumbstruck, again, by her beauty and had to shake my head slightly. What was it about this filly that made my heart beat so fast? Why did she make me feel this funny? As I looked into her brown eyes, I saw pain.
Pain and sorrow were glazing her eyes and for a moment - for a second - I thought she knew me. Who I was and what I had experienced. But the spell broke when she spoke again, and once again - I frowned. "But am I wrong for wanting those carefree times back?" She would never understand, but I still told her. "I am not carefree anymore, Abishia. I fucking saw my mother get beaten up, raped, abused and my father died right in front of me without any last words and he didn't even fucking look at me." I stood up, careful not to drop Aslan who pinned his claws into my shoulders as his safety. "You're not wrong for wanting them, but you won't have them. Not right now at least... I have to take care of my mother - make her sane again - and I can't afford spilling love and promises that I won't keep." I looked away from the filly, closing my eyes as I took a step away from her. It hurt to say these things to her, but I had to.
For both my and her own sake.
"Meet me again when you've experienced love. And I don't mean this-" I turned my head and looked at her, pained tears filling my vision, and sighed loudly. "I mean the real thing. Goodbye, Abishia. I..." I couldn't continue, so I just left. My legs started to move, showing off the rippling muscles underneath my golden skin, and they carried me away far away from her, towards the World's Edge and Thistle Meadow. Aslan meowed loudly and bumped against my withers. I didn't say anything, and the silence eventually fell over us as we walked towards home in the light of the moon.
"I'm such an idiot."
"Talking."
ooc: ;-;
wordcount: 592
tags: @[Abishia]
