She was, again, surprised when Mauja didn't turn and run when she asked why he was finally paying attention to her. Still, she refused to look at the stallion that had sired her, afraid that the sadness she heard in his voice would be reflected on his face. Afraid that if she saw that sadness that she would shatter into a million different shards of ice and forgive him far too quickly. Far too easily. Looking at the stars helped her keep her composure. Looking at the moon helped her hold onto her anger.

"You were always important to me."

"Really..." It was not a question nor was it a statement. And while her voice had lost its hard edge and had become soft for the moment she did not hide her disbelief. He'd had a strange way of proving to her that she'd been important. Only once could she remember feeling like she was something important and that was only because she had been whisked away to the Dragon's Throat by a spy. It was after that that she had been pushed to the way side. Her brother had been born and she'd been left to feel as though she had not been good enough for Mauja. She had felt that she hadn't been strong enough to warrant him calling her 'daughter' any longer. Why else would he replace her with another.

Had he taken the time to explain to her that she was going to have a sibling she might not have reacted in the way that she had. She might have welcomed a sibling, established a hierarchy with herself being at the top, of course. But she had felt ignored and unwanted and had reacted horribly to the situation. The hatred that she harbored at such a young age had been nurtured over the years, had dug its roots deep within her soul and blossomed.

"And you always will be."

She wondered how she was supposed to feel. Wondered what he expected from her as she felt his eyes on her. There were many different ways she could react to his words and each of them ticked through her mind as she tried to figure out how she felt and what she should do. She could react angrily and accuse him of lying to her. She could resort to violence and try to physically punish him for what she thought were his failures. She could ignore him. Or let herself feel happiness that he acknowledged her. She could do what she had learned from him and her mother and run away. Offer total forgiveness. Apologize for doubting him. Ask him for forgiveness.

No. No. None of that was right.

Instead the pale mare finally looked away from the stars and allowed her gaze to settle on Mauja's face. "For real?" Could he possibly be telling her the truth? "Then why did you replace me?"

"."

@[Mauja]

Snö