Moons had passed since that night on the meadow, the night I met Krieger for the second time and was half-forced, half-talked into letting him mount me. Moons had passed and now my sides stood out like a huge ball, making my back look like a down-rounded slope and giving me even more stretch marks. I had gone through so much pain whenever I walked, I've needed more sleep than usual and I've eaten so much. My Desired and I were walking next to a stream, not far from the Falls Meadow. The moon was looking down at us, lighting our path so that we wouldn't trip over some rock.

'I'm going to stay fat after this one, there's no way I'll be skinny.' My bonded rolled her eyes and looked at me, and I knew that look all too well. 'Just exercise an-' 'No, I will stay fat.' I was stubborn, more than usual, and it made the feline irritated. I knew she tried to hide it, but I always knew. The cat didn't even try to calm my worries again because she knew I was impossible. Instead, she changed subject. 'I heard interesting days ago.' I looked down at her, raising a brow. What? "What are you talking about?" 'Pegasus. She talk about Asylum. Bad things, impossible information.' I froze, and the jaguar came to sat down right in front of me. "What did she say?" 'She said half Asylum crazy. Nobody except Asylum knows about Asylum.' "What exactly did she say? Replay the conversation in your head, you know I can hear it." Slowly, my eyes closed and I concentrated on the bond between me and the black femme, trying to focus on the words she replayed inside her compact head.

'"This herd is not safe for our son! I mean half of these creatures here are from the Asylum, crazies!" "What if they are all blood crazy and decide our son looks tasty or something?!" "Ciceron I'm sorry... I had no right to snap at you, it's just.. I can't take it here. I can't live in fear any longer. I'm supposed to be safe in my own herd!"' At the end, I snapped back my head violently and gasped quietly. "Circuta must know about this. Nobody talks shit about our family witho- Ugh!" The rest of the sentence was dismissed as I suddenly felt a gnawing pain in my abdomen. "We must... Tell... Circuta..." A pushing feeling made me immediately realize what was happening and I called out in agony.

'Now? Really? Foal, you could've waited a while more.' I closed my eyes in pain and fell, my legs gave away for my heavy weight and the soft grass became my mattress. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.' Dezba threw an angry gaze at me, her ears slightly turned back against her neck. 'Not swear! Foal hear you.' I glared at her before I closed my eyes again and fell to my side, calling out in pain as the contractions started to burn in my abdomen. Why was it that it still hurt even though this was the third fucking time? MY THIRD time and it still hurt like the first. "Go.. and get... help." She shook her head and I opened my eyes widely, glaring at her with pain glazing my blue orbs. "NOW!" This time, she ran away.

I moaned loudly and even though the contractions felt like they were making me lame in half of my body, I stood up again and started to walk in a circle. It's time. It's time. And I didn't have a mate to support me this time. The realization gave me headache. 'Azzaron, please forgive me,' I thought as tears started to dwell in the corners of my eyes. 'Forgive me for having this child. Forgive me for leaving you behind. Please forgive me and give me strength,' I prepared for another contraction and moaned again. Why did this feel much worse than the other births? Or had I already forgotten the pain, the agony that my children had caused me while coming out of my womb?

In a try to reduce the pain, I lied down again on my side and started to roll. Roll, roll, roll your foal, gently in the grass. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily... Life is but a.. "FUCK!" That didn't help. Itdidn'thelpatall. I cringed and whinnied loudly, desperate to get help as soon as possible. But little did I know, nobody would come around until a lot later. Now crying, I rolled up into a lying position and swept my tail aside, ready. "I'm not ready. I'm not ready. Foal, WHY are you doing this to me? What have I ever done you?!" I cried out, turning my head to snap at my dark belly. My gaze wandered up and about, looking for the black arrow that was my Desired and bonded - but I saw no signs of her yet. "Dezba..."
Three hours later, I was still in agony. Nothing fucking ever happened. Once again, I was up on my hooves and walking in a circle - opposite direction from before - and tried to make the pain more easy to work with.

I was thinking about Mauja, to pass the time and have something other than birth to think about. "Learn from it. And for fuck's sake—hold on to them." He had meant my family - the one I loved with all of my heart and yet, I continued to succeed with destroying it and blaming it on others. How many times had I talked to Destry since she was even born? Or taught her how to act around others? Very, very few times. I was such a horrible mother so I could I ever hold on to my family? They were the ones holding onto me, barely even that. But my thoughts shattered of course when then, finally, it started. My contractions happened with less space between them and I lied down - or more correctly fell down - on my side again to finally start this hell.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It took me two hours to get the foal out. I had been in pain, sweating and screaming all alone during this birth, but it had been worth it, for at my feet was a beautiful, stunning black filly who shivered extremely to start her blood circulation. The white membrane bag she had been growing in inside of me was still wrapped around her dark hind legs, but thanks to her front hooves she had been able to rip it apart and was now breathing - with slight difficulties though due to the goo in her airways. I stood up - careful to control my legs so that I wouldn't hurt her - and turned around so that I would face her.
Without a single doubt, I started to lick her beautifully shaped face - she had a roman nose, oh my - and licked her nostrils and corners of mouth clean. I then gazed over her tiny body, looking closely for any deformities.

Upon her back were a brindle-like pattern, similar to my own markings but deep red at the spine and faded to white at the ends. Her mane and tail were black and gray-striped accompanied with white fringes and the filly's eyes... They were a golden yellow, making her eyes almost glow, but blue rings around her pupils ruined it and it warmed my heart a little. She had blue in her eyes. Just like Destry and Azarel. Drops of sweat had made stripes on my dark face and I tasted one as I smiled - widely, lovingly. "Cahira," I whispered, bumping my maw against the small white stump of a horn that decorated her forehead. She was the first of my children to have a stump. "That shall be your name. Cahira." She was perfect. My third child and second daughter, Cahira. I lied down next to her before turning my head to push her even closer to me. And before I knew it, I started to lick off the membrane and everything else.

I was now a mother of three. But one thing was also true, I wasn't the only mother by the river that night.

A wave of calm washed over me and I looked up from Cahira, looking into the woods. When would Dezba come back? How far had she been running to find someone? A sigh escaped my lips and I lowered my head again, embracing my filly lovingly. The embrace didn't last for long though because a presence - the one - interrupted me. Once again I glanced up and my eyes opened wide, staring. "M.. Mo.." "Don't, my childe. Don't speak." Her soothing voice calmed me again and I stared at her, wrapping my tail around the black filly next to me as good as I could. "Why are you here?" "Can't your own mother appear at her own daughter's third childbirth?" The starry-coated mare smiled and I reflected her emotions, tears slowly starting to escape my gaze and run down my cheeks. "Cahira..." I watched as my mother came closer to us and by instinct, I wrapped my tail even more around her. This didn't pass the unicorn's attention. "Don't worry, my childe, I will not hurt her." Her blue eyes looked into mine and I felt her love rush through my veins as she lowered her head to my newborn. Slowly, my tail loosened up.

"She's beautiful. Just like Destry and Azarel." Greyskie looked at me, smiling widely. And all I could do was smile back - I didn't even question her appearance. "But this time, I won't disappear within a few minutes. I will from now on always be here for you, always guarding your new family through new eyes." Confusion replaced the happiness and love. What? "Mother, what do you m-" The sentence died before it was finished as I watched my Mother's spirit slowly turn into starry, shimmering dust and a sudden warm wind made her go right in my newborn's direction. "Wait.. WAIT!" But she didn't.

Before I knew it, my Mother was gone and my daughter was coughing up something that looked like stardust. "Cahira? Baby, are you alright?" I lowered my head and started to nuzzle the babe, tears running down my cheeks fast. What had she done? What had mother done to my baby?!