When I was little, I wanted only love and comfort. Just someone who dared to care for me, who survived being my friend and played with me to make me laugh when I was sad. That had been my birthday wish every year until my fifth, when I realized that I wasn't going to get what I wanted. I would never earn a friend, never feel loved nor be comforted in the hardest of times, because my father had been in the way all along. He had destroyed me, my childhood, my friends and everyone I ever felt a bond with. He had let the males in his Kingdom simply use me as they wanted, even though I had been the heir to the pathetic title as the Royalty. Now I just had to look on my reflection in the waters and simply know that I had turned into a mare who was close to being her father's daughter. I had to become sane again. I had to. Because otherwise, my children might experience the same as I had - the feeling of having a single parent who doesn't love you doesn't exactly feel good.

My place in this world was nothing, as I was merely a strange-looking mare who had been forced almost all of her life. A pathetic excuse for a Princess, according to myself. "And all I can do is fucking feel sorry for myself." I truly am pathetic. A pathetic mother. A pathetic daughter. A completely useless, worthless mare who wasted oxygen on this planet. I waited for a comment from my bonded, inside my head, but there was none. Perhaps she was busy watching my kids. I couldn't even raise them myself correctly. I barely knew my first-born daughter, I had traumatized my only son and I had barely even been with my newborn like a mother should.

Muscles were moving underneath my black skin as I went up the rocky road, careful not to fall. "Even though I should," I mumbled, staring at the ground beneath me to make sure I didn't. After a while, I had finally gotten to the top, and I was staring over the great meadow I hadn't been on since I met Mandrake. Before I even knew that I would one day meet a pegasus who would change my life forever. Lowering my head, I journeyed forward and stopped by the edge of the mountain. My gaze fell beyond the edge, looking down at the frosted small mountains and the blue water beneath. If only I had dared... If only I had been brave enough... I would've jumped.

But I was a coward, so I couldn't. As I took a step away from the edge, I rose my head and closed my eyes, feeling the cold wind blow at my face and play with my dual colored strings of hair. If only the wind could carry me away, fly me away to unknown places together with my offspring where they would have a chance to be with me and a chance for me to.. To make up for my mistakes. I sighed. "I'm always trying to escape my problems... That's how I run into them in the first place," I whispered, for my own ears only as I was on top of the world - alone in my misery. I... I didn't want to be a coward anymore.

As I gazed down at the frosty tops again, at the bottom of the Heavenly Fields, I sighed again. I didn't want to be a coward. Not anymore.