It's kind of your own fault that by the time you're rushing towards the Arab, he is still on the ground. You should have given him time to rise before you magicked him. You were too eager to cause destruction. Not all attacks should be so sudden. Still, the fool screams as you continue on behind him, so you must have hit him somewhere. You smirk, decidedly happy with yourself, but your victory smile comes too soon. The Arab throws himself to his feet and before you can jump out of the way, hooves are flying in your direction. One, two. His rear hooves slam into your left rib cage. It's a stupid injury- you shouldn't have been so close to him. You should have known better than to run so close to him. You were too cocky. It is a mistake you'll try to remember in your future battles, so as not to make it again. Your side aches, as though you are bruised down to your very bone, and you find yourself gasping for breath for a few strides. He must have knocked the wind out of you. Your eyes grow wide as you try to suck in air, try to make yourself breath, try to get oxygen to your tissues that so desperately need it. This must be what it is like to use your magic on others- you do not like it. You panic, struggle, stagger about, trying to force your diaphragm to work again and force your lungs to take in air. For a moment, your oxygen starved brain begins to tell you that you are going to die. It is a hint, an inkling, of a notion, but it puts the very fear of the gods into you. This idiot, for all of his flailing, has managed to kill you? You think not. With one, vicious gasp, you fill your chest with air again, feel your lungs expand, and revel in the agony of your bruised rib expanding. It hurts, but at least you are alive. Glaring back towards the fool, who has subsequently lowered his horn to ward you off, you snort, retreating from him and heading off into the woods. He has wounded your pride, made you fear for your life despite the fact that he is but a babe on the battlefield, and you do not have any desire to stay around him any longer. With a dismissive flick of your tail, you shake your head and limp off to lick your wounds and get high. You make sure that your path avoids the pool where you're sure this pageant boy will go to clean his newly-dirtied hide. WC| 447 Post| Defense/3 @[Fraub]

Sorry for the wait! Last post- note that it is fairly short because the only part of the rubric considered in the defense post is realism, so I don't usually spend a ton of time on the last post, other than to read it over for obvious spelling mistakes.

Realism: I'm kind of confused about the blood on the shoulder area. Did Oxy do that? Where did that injury come from. If Fraub was on the ground and Oxy's horns went by his face, I have a hard time seeing how he could have been hit in the shoulder. I was also confused about his attack. I basically gave you the freedom to say whether Oxy went in front of or behind Fraub, but to me it seems like you're not really sure where he went. Fraub gets up and kicks with his hind limbs, which indicates to me that Oxy is behind him. However, he subsequently jumps forward (I'm assuming it was subsequent, anyways; the way it was written it seems like it would be at the same time, which is impossible), which indicates to me that Oxy is in front of Fraub. Going into writing, I'm not exactly sure where you think Oxy is in relation to your character.

Emotion: I liked his response to the magic- as I've told you before, I just always want more, more, more! Maybe I am needy. I like Fraub, but I never really feel like I get in his head, I just get near it.

Prose: Missed a space here: 'I bet if I got up it would be ea-.. ugh'it. I probably would have removed the space or dash here: begins to un fog. Of course, that is more a stylistic choice since unfog isn't really a word. He was still a heard mate → Herd. Halfway through the post you switched from past tense to present tense, which was kind of confusing to me. As fraub moves his shoulder → capitalize his name! His horn pointed at the male in a defensive gesture. Not sure where he is aiming but hoping he is close enough to hit something at the very least he lurches forward. I think you intended to put a comma between those two sentences, not a period. As you can see, though, I am just pulling out nit-picky stuff by the end here. I think your writing has grown tremendously, just through these three posts. Great job!

Readability: Everything was readable other than some of the confusion during Fraub's attack. I got caught up a moment when you switched from past to present tense, but otherwise I didn't see anything particularly glaring.