Hell.
That's what this was. That's what he banished himself to. The infection that had consumed him, transformed him into a decaying beast, had been stripped from him by the young mare that had come to Aly's aid. If only she could have taken the memories away as well. What he had done to Aly was despicable. In truth, she didn't deserve the emotional abuse he had poured over her, not after everything she had been through. Not after he had spent several years trying to keep her safe. Not if he loved her as much as he said he did. On the one hand, he was glad Iona wasn't there to see the mess he had made - she would maim him for sure. Yet, he almost wished she was here to beat him down. To make him pay for what he had done. Aly wasn't safe with him, not anymore.
Perhaps he was being melodramatic. Perhaps he was making more of this than was necessary. Regardless, he wasn't the hero he had always tried to be.
When Tandavi healed him he fled, stumbling and frantic, into the deepest depths of the caves near Helovia's heart. When the disease had dissipated and everyone left the shelter of the caves behind, he remained behind - clinging to the cool darkness of the crystal cavern until it seemed all was clear. Emaciated and worn, feathers coated in dust, the stallion finally ventured upwards - if only a short distance. Winding through the maze of the crystal cavern was a piece of cake now. Miykael could probably navigate it with his eyes closed. But that could potentially bring him joy, joy that he hadn't allowed himself to feel since he had been changed and healed. Joy was unacceptable. He did not deserve it anymore.
With slow, methodical steps he moves through the various tunnels and caverns that had once been the blessed shelter from the disease. Miykael makes his way to the glowing room, finding it still flush with vegetation. With a heavy exhale he moves towards a particularly thick patch of moss and slowly lowers himself down into its' softness. He nibbles idly on the surrounding vegetation, taking in enough to live but not enough to pack on any weight. In truth, he was just as thin now as he was when he was infected. Thin and gangly, he almost looked as old as he really is: ancient. Miykael doesn't care. Doesn't even think twice about his own condition but he never has and likely never would.
Even in the lonely darkness he could still see her, hear her. Perhaps this made everything worse. Perhaps he should gather the courage to exit this monstrous place and fly away, leaving her behind and allowing her to move on in peace. No. That would be easy, too easy and the potential for his future happiness is too great in that particular scenario. This, the torture he endures every day - that is what he deserves. He needs to live with what he has done, not run from it. So he stays, steadfast and stubborn, sickly thin and exhausted - not moving on but not fleeing like a coward. He resolves to remain here until he is certain that Aly has moved on with her life. Then, and only then, would he emerge.
You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye...
say something, i'm giving up on you
i'll be the one, if you want me to |
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![[Image: mikey_by_moonstone_designs-d9dgnba.png]](http://orig02.deviantart.net/51ca/f/2015/290/e/5/mikey_by_moonstone_designs-d9dgnba.png)
