KAHLUA
Realism [+3.5]
Overall you had great realism, keeping a great mind for attacks, defenses, timing, and injuries. The only one I questioned was whether or not she took enough damage in her second post, when she got the critical hit. I would have also liked to see more mention of the surroundings, although I know they were basic ones, saying something like the easy footing is what kept her from getting knocked over in the second post. Similarly more mention of their breed differences was desired. Lastly, although this only seemed to be an issue in your first post, you didn’t mention which side you were on/attacking on. All of these are minor in the scheme of realism, but did bring down your score. Otherwise I loved this and felt everything Kahlua did matched her character and her experience perfectly!


Emotion [+3]
All her posts had me drawn in the entire time, it was wonderful to read!


Prose [+4]
Throughout the fight you maintained great flow and style.


Readability [+3]
Everything was readable and there were no apparent typos or grammar issues.


Finally tally: 37+(13.5*2)= 64 HP


DESTRIER
Realism [+4]
In each post I could tell you have a great handle on fighting because all of the attacks, defenses, injuries and timing was great. You even included breed references regularly and were good at describing your direction in relation to your opponent and the attacks. I did question your defense on post 2 though because I’m not sure just with him stopping suddenly that Kahlua’s attack would go from his hind leg all the way to his chest. Otherwise you did great, especially with handling the damage in that first post when Kahlua barely hurt him, and then continually commenting on that injury which I loved. Don’t forget to also include scenery, although I know this one was pretty basic, just a little nod to the background would help tie everything in. Otherwise great job!


Emotion [+2.5]
I really enjoyed Destrier in each post and how he was constantly struggling to fight his queen because it was ultimately what was best for her. I loved his shouting and Suli’s disobedience!


Prose [+4]
Throughout the fight you maintained great flow and style.


Readability [+3]
Everything was readable and there were no apparent typos or grammar issues.


Finally tally: 49.5+(13.5*2)= 76.5 HP

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Destrier is awarded 1 VP