Dear Jeff [Or as you want me to call you, Sawbones - Eris has many personalities.
No one will give me a quarter! - Four years of age
Maybe I could buy a blanket to stay nice and toasty, - Bird catcher spots, recently owned a cape.
and then, I can turn my quarter into more by investing in things. - Reference to The Asylum with Eris has invested a lot of time and effort into.