GAUCHO
Realism [+3]
Your experience with fighting definitely shows, because even with such long gaps between posts it’s all cohesive and flows great as one continuous battle. You have excellent attacks, defenses, and overall timing. For instance I really liked your counter use of your shoulder spikes against oxy in your second post, particularly the way you worded it. I would have liked to see a lot more breed and surroundings references from you, albeit I know it was a pretty basic scenery I never really knew what the battleground looked like, and although Gaucho and Oxy have a lot in common with breed references, there’s something to be mentioned just in that.

In post three I think there was some confusion, because I was under the impression Oxy had reared up and attacked Gaucho’s left side, since he had dodged Gaucho’s fire by shoving off to the right, making looping around to Gaucho’s left closer and easier than going to his right. However, Oxy did not specify which side he attacked, I only inferred it from his last position from the dodge.

I also thought you didn’t take enough damage in your second post, given the dice roll number - you responded to all the attacks, but they all seemed so very easily brushed off and none that really sustained damage as I would expect from a 6 roll. For instance in your last post which was also a 6, I thought you took the damage much better, or at least I understood and felt the injury was defined enough.

Overall though great job, just fine tune the little details to really go above and beyond.


Emotion [+3]
I loved all of Gaucho’s posts in this. Not just the humor spiced in, but the way he handled everything, particularly with the memories and the drugs. I definitely felt like I was Gaucho when reading his posts.


Prose [+4]
You havely lovely prose with great style and flow that comes through in all your posts continuously.


Readability [+2.5]
There were a few typos, though you actually improved as the fight went on.

POST 1
“...casually felt from The Addicts lips…” (fell) (Addict’s)
“...likely all it was was the anxiety and nausea...” (was was IS a correct statement, so no points were subtracted, but it did stand out to me and I looked it up for grammar rules to make sure. Mostly it’s just awkward and can easily be reworded so that it doesn’t come out this way - just a suggestion.)

POST 2
“....and his balanced steadied...” (balance)


Finally tally: 31+(12.5*2)= 56 HP


OXY
Realism [+4]
Your fighting experience definitely shines through, especially given the length of time between posts but managing to keep it seem all coherent and flowing so well, even remembering to mention injuries sustained posts previously. Your attacks, defenses, and timing are all spot on. I also thought you did great inserting breed and surroundings pretty well, I just would have liked to see them more consistently mentioned, since you only brought them up strongly in post 1 and post 2.

I’d like to see you consider the damage the die roll provides a bit more when describing your injuries, because in your first post it had rolled a 6 and although you take all the attacks, the injuries seem extremely minor and in some cases barely described. Yet in your second post, you take too much damage given that a 1 was rolled. This improves over your last two posts, and you did do an excellent job of continuing to mention your injured leg, though it didn’t seem to really effect Oxy and his decisions much.

Overall great job, just watch the damage rolls! I loved your use of the tree though.


Emotion [+2]
I love Oxy posts and definitely got emotion from him during this fight, but at times it definitely fell to the wayside as you seemed to focus more on realism. So although his presence was still there, I would have loved more - you can never have too much Oxy!


Prose [+4]
You also have lovely prose with great style and flow that comes through in all your posts continuously.


Readability [+2]
You also had some typos, though improved as the fight went on. In your second post you also didn’t provide a clear side for your rear attack which led to some discrepancies between what side I thought you were on and what side your opponent thought you were on - other than that attack though you were always clear.

In addition to what’s below, you start your sentences with “But” a bit more often than I recommend. It’s not the best grammar, but can slide by occasionally, however you walked the line of too much, but because it was not overwhelming I didn’t score points for it.

POST 1
“....finishes it's upward arc….” (its)

POST 2
“The collars dig deep into your flesh...” (collar digs, or spikes dig? Only one collar).
“...several puncture wounds your left shoulder…” (in? on? missing word)


Finally tally: 25+(12*2)= 49 HP