The pained expression on the exiled king's face softened into a smile as the kind women spoke their words of forgiveness. He kept smiling as Kahlua told of her own plight, compassion and awareness mirrored in golden eyes - he knew what she was talking about, felt it with the same certainty as the dragon's awareness of fur-coated backs beneath her gentle claws as she pawed across them, affectionate in her careful tread. He even smiled as she uttered words; no a question ever so hopefully asked, that broke his heart, knowing what his answer would have to be.
For one long, breathless moment he was tempted to accept. It would be so comfortable, so easy to simply say yes and return to the mist-veiled shadows he had called home for so long. Had he ever stayed in one place for as long as he had lived at the World's Edge? Had he ever come to care for, respect, even love any horses as he had the family called Qian? He had only respect to offer the Moon that blessed the lands, who for so long had blessed him with her own powers until he threw them away of his own volition. It perhaps wasn't too presumptuous of him to believe he might be welcome back, that he might even belong here.
But... for some reason, it just didn't feel right.
"Kahlua, I..." he tried, but had to stop to swallow a lump in the throat, lost for words. What did you say when your friend asked you to stay and your head screamed 'yes!' while the voice inside your heart whispered a quiet 'no'? "I don't know" he managed to press forth, voice sounding choked and filled with so many emotion it was nigh impossible to separate them. "I want to, and at the same time... Without Mirage here, and after all that has happened... Can you say for sure that I wouldn't cause enmity and rifts in the herd? I did rule here you know, if only for a short time, and I don't know how to stop carrying that responsibility. Yet for the sake of the herd there can only be one king, only one queen..."
Lace looked between the pale mares, the dragon and the forest as he tried to explain feelings he hadn't really put in words before. On one hand he wished to go back beneath that dense canopy and become one in the crowd, follow the leaders and live life as quietly and easily as possible. On the other, he had truly enjoyed being the one to call the shots for once, to make decisions and give orders and feel the elation of seeing them followed by his kin. It hadn't been easy, it hadn't even been fun most of the time... but it had suited him, and the grullo had a strong feeling that if he went back to this place, he would one day find himself craving the crown more than he wished for the safety of the family.
"I think I need some time to really think this over" he sighed. "Do you think I could be allowed to linger for a while? Maybe speaking with the others, visiting the other herds, being unbound for a while can help me find whatever it is that I'm looking for." He looked questioningly between the girls, smiling at Brisa - he would indeed love to meet her children, if she would have him near them, and he had to find Kaj and talk to him, and Destrier and... He drew a quivering breath, terrified of being denied... and unable to blame them if they did.
@[Brisa]
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