HECTOR
Realism [+3.5]
:: For your third post, I think to facilitate taking some damage from the 5 that Arvakl rolled you tried to go back and apply it to Hector landing and tweaking his leg. Since he had already basically landed at the end of your second post, I would have preferred the damage came from a time period after that, though it wasn’t necessarily wrong.
:: I liked your response to the billowing sand in post 3 and the follow up to it in your closing defense.


Emotion [+1.5]
:: You did a good job setting up Hector’s steady, warrior-minded personality in the first post; I felt like the observations were very organic.
:: Your posts 2 and 3 became a little more battle-minded, which is understandable, but I would have liked to see a little more of Hector’s personality shine through.


Prose [+4]
:: The taught muscles battered through his attempted evasion of the sand loosened, Taut. This was in your defense, so I can’t take points off for it, but I just wanted to point it out.
:: It was clear that you spent a good amount of time editing your posts- they were well written and I didn’t catch any obvious mistakes.


Readability [+2]
:: You write beautifully, but I’ve noticed in both post 1 and 2 that the descriptions of the attacks were sometimes difficult to follow and I would have to go back and read a couple times until I could figure out exactly what was going on. I typically had a general idea, but needed to really stop and consider to understand more thoroughly where everyone was in space.


Finally tally: 45 + (11*2) = 67 HP


ARVAKL
Realism [+2]
:: I think you could have taken slightly more damage in the first post. Not much, but I think the damage you took would have been more appropriate for a 2, instead of the 3 that was rolled.
:: You definitely needed to take more damage in the second post. With Hector rolling a 6, there should have been some very severe damage. All I noticed was the mild damage from Hector’s second bite.
:: My body turns to face him and evaluate the distance between us. It seems he hasn't gone too far, and I will be able to reach him without too much difficulty. You can’t say for certain where he has gone. ‘Attempt’ to face him and Hector never said how far he went in his post.
:: Good use of terrain! I liked Arvakl’s strategy to try and blow the sand off the ground.
:: Again, in post 3, you needed to take way more damage. It was a critical hit- a cut to the neck definitely isn’t severe enough to reflect how much damage she should have taken. Remember that you don’t just have to take damage from your opponent’s actions. You can injure yourself by moving too quickly, stepping on something, running into something, etc.


Emotion [+1.5]
:: The first post served to set up Arvakl’s personality rather well.
:: You continued the emotion throughout, though I would have liked to see more reasoning for why she was fighting. I got it a little bit, but there can always be more!


Prose [+3.5]
:: It slips down my slips, darkening the hairs on my chin. Lips
:: I groan as my nerve endings shoot message of pain from the wound to my brain. A message


Readability [+3]
:: Everything was well written and easy to read.


Finally tally: 26 + (10*2) = 46HP