Gone. Disappeared. For the hundredth time she was left, broken and confused, sobbing into the air for days seeking a form that would not be returning. She searched the land endlessly, wearing her stamina to the thinnest of threads, until her body was shrieking and her mind dizzied by the strenuous searching. And in repetition she was left bereft. Leliel had left her. Again. He had asked her to teach him to love, and she had allowed herself to tentatively open her heart to the blind, sour stallion once more. Had fallen back into his web no matter her convoluted reasonings for hesitation. Was she doomed to that cycle? To loving and being left again and again? Muriel had given everything for Leliel. She had left their home, had traveled endlessly in pursuit of him, had abandoned all friends and the stability of a home, herd and family...all to be snapped at, disregarded, hated. And when she had believed him to finally be changing, opening up...when she thought her tears were finally for nought, that happiness and required love was within reach...he abandoned her.

It hurt far worse than any other time, for it to occur at such a time when she was most vulnerable. And with a shattered heart and useless figure, Muriel decided that she couldn't do anything more. A small part of her prayed it was an accident; maybe he blindly stumbled away or was stolen? But to have been dumped and destroyed so many times, that hope was abysmally small. So she stumbled forth, too tired to cry and too deadened to care where her hooves led her. Quad wings drooped until pure golden tips were sullied in the autumn soil, dragging limply. Vapid, glassy lavender eyes hardly moved or blinked as she ventured into territories unknown.

She was alone. Leliel had been her only companion, and she was a damned fool to be content with only him in her life. And her only friend, dearest Onni, was missing...so she was solitary and terrified, too weak and defenseless to ward off any predators that might seek her hide. Briefly she considered dropping, allowing them her tender grieving flesh. What was left for her after all? But the same fire that had driven her off bloody knees in the darkness of the Veins kept her from crumbling then. Maybe it was anger, for she had always been the sweetest of sugars with anyone she'd ever encountered, had done nothing to be punished for but love too much and too strongly. Was that so wrong?

The Edge was filled with memories of Leliel and the harsh encounter with Aurelia, and without Onni to greet her the Throat was a barren land she could find no potential comfort in. Herdlands were nameless and numberless to her, but she could not hear the weight of her solitude any longer. Even a herd that didn't know not care to learn her name would be an improvement. So instead she traveled, evading all rest after the initial nightmares, heart shattered to have awoken without Leliel there to offer awkward care and condolences. There was no coordinated path, merely searching aimlessly for the chance to miraculously bump into a border and offer up whatever minuscule use she had in her body to the leaders.

In honesty she had expected to drop of her exhaustion before ever finding a herdland, and it took a few lengthy moments of staring at the invisible scent markers before she realized in her worn out brain that she'd actually made it. The desire to cry was nearly overwhelming but she held it in and sucked in a breath to cry out brokenly for somebody, anybody. She must look a right mess, seconds from dropping to the earth in a slump, but Muriel fervently prayed they would not turn her away for appearing so useless.

She had nowhere else to go if they did.

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Joining but anyone welcome!