When I had thought that the Fall air breathed new life into me, I had been wrong. When I had thought that my home was only a few steps away from becoming just that… I stood corrected. When I had thought that Mirage would find a way to heal the fragmented, stony bits of my heart, I was wildly disappointed to hear otherwise. The ache in my chest bloomed with fire, burning my lungs and robbing me of my essence. It rocked my soul with such ferocity that I wasn’t sure how long my legs would be able to stand beneath me. Instead, I turned away, my eyes seeking something… anything that would distract the awful pain that ripped through my body. My shoulders sagged, finally hinting at the toll I had suffered in the wilds. My head fell, finally showcasing the fool that had let death keep him from himself. But it was all for naught. This Lady, this painted stranger was the one I was to call my Queen- there was no doubt in that. With a sullen nod, I bowed before her despite the burning I felt in my legs at the demeaning fashion in which I fell.

When I straightened once more, my eyes held hers with an intensity that I was unsure could even be my own. I looked within those cerulean eyes and hoped to find something there that I could put my faith in. I stepped closer, allowing my heft to create a thundering acoustic song upon the hardening ground. “Queen?” I seemed to be testing the word out on my tongue as I gazed at her, still searching her face with a grave expression of doubt... I’d had no trouble letting go this time. There was nothing left inside that wasn’t already broken and I let him in with little resistance. “And Mirage… is gone.” I glanced past her once again, hoping that this would all be one huge joke, a prank played upon the deceitful. However, Mirage did not appear against my silent, desperate wishes. I turned, fully now, on my hocks intending to gaze up and down the wall in search of her despite the sinking realization that she would never appear within these walls again. I paced a small line before this imposter, turning tight circles until I locked my gaze on her once again- this time with determination.

“And what knowledge have you on her plans to rule this land? Who deemed you fit?” I tried to bite back the words but they came without consequence; I could not render them quiet. My emotions warred inside my head, rolling back and forth between confusion, anger, and sadness. She was gone. I couldn’t blame this innocent for Mirage’s departure and yet I could blame no one else in that moment. The tension that coiled within my muscles seemed to string me so tight that my back felt as if a rod had straightened me into a statuesque sculpture of my own creation. I had chiseled my neck into submission until I was unsure how long I could survive in this rigid state of pure destruction. I didn’t know where to go from here; my world had been completely ripped apart from the seams. “Do you understand what shoes you fill here? What duties?” I seemed to prey on her soft resolve as she stood before me, my eyes finally resting on her in question as they would a disobedient child. I tried on many occasions to reign in my desire to interrogate her until she finally told me where Mirage had retired to, but the pure shock I had witnessed upon her seeing me had been enough to convince me.

Mirage was truly gone.

“Forgive me Kahlua.” The words seemed to grind from between my teeth like a weed that I had foolishly grabbed alongside some meadow grass. But how could she ever understand? I refused to believe that this youthful girl could ever come to understand my plight. “I had come in hopes of finding refuge within these walls… as you know they were once my own.” With the truth finally hanging between us like a silent threat, I finally relented. I had not come in search of war, I had come in search of comfort and repair… but she had stolen that from me, my Queen. Mirage had gone and only the Gods would know why. The shadow mare had given up on me as well. “I just can’t believe she’s gone.” I couldn’t help the tremble in my voice as I stared beyond to the cliff’s edge seeking out the soothing melody of the waves. Surely they would hear me as I stood so close and yet so far away from everything I had ever known. I feared the future and where I might end my road and that was a thing that strangled my soul into a pain so deep and irreversible that I was sure I’d never recover from this.