The sun seemed to rise in its own familiar way and looking at it felt as it always had. Everything was familiar, too familiar. I didn’t feel like another man, I felt like the man I was supposed to be. Looking around, I got to see the things I’d been missing even if empty promises still hung upon every limb of every tree. Yes, I was a shell of the man I’d once been but, I had come into myself. Yes, I’d been changed but I was somehow still the same. A broken heart was nothing in comparison to the feeling of this wholeness. My home had welcomed me back and the sense of warmth that spread through me was infectious. Despite the wintry chill and the coming of the snowy season, the World’s Edge was a beautiful thing that thrived inside me, not only as a place, but as a part of myself. It was true; I missed hearing her whispers upon my gentle ear. I missed creating her visions with my own hands. But there was nothing I could do now except serve her in my own small way. I would not give up that resolve to do for this land as much as she had done for me.

Early morning rays slanted along the open meadow in shades of pink and orange and yellow. The mists hung at my legs, curling quietly around my knees as if bidding me good morning. In a moment of weakness, I lowered my face to their surface and puffed softly in acknowledgement. Fluttering softly, they parted before coming back together. I felt as though they were giggling at my attention and I smiled down at them like I would a small child. The outlying forest loomed tall despite the drying leaves that hung low on their branches. They too had been painted in autumn colors as if this was their last chance to show the world their beauty before finally giving way under the pressure of imminent death. Before me, the cliff tried to conceal the ominous rushing of the waves below… but I had grown too accustomed to the worrying of the waters as they pushed against the rock in a rhythmic song to notice it anymore. Nothing could beat the feeling of residing in the Edge. Not the heat of the sands in the Throat, not the cold of the ice in the Basin, and not the dunes of the Hidden Falls… They could never claim my heart as the World’s Edge had done. I belonged here.

I stood there in the morning sunrise contemplating many things. I thought of my past, my present, and most importantly my future. I didn’t want to hang on to hatred or hurt any longer. It plagued me in so many ways. I was an unpleasant friend, I could not function without a sense of emptiness, and I could not help but be overcome with the past and the grudges that I held for it. I knew that I had to let it go because too many people depended on me to move on,bBut it was so hard to forget all of the things that made me that way. I was terrified that I would be hurt once again if I trusted happiness or anyone that was capable of bringing me joy. It wrenched at my soul and made me a coward. It made me question who I was because I wasn’t sure who I could be without the barriers I’d built around myself. What bright, jovial man lived inside this cage? A self-imposed cage at that? It was easy to blame everyone around me, but at the heart of the matter, I was the only one to blame for the troubles I’d face and would come to face if I didn’t end my own suffering.

I wanted the freedom that everyone else seemed to possess.

It was a confidence that had all but eluded me my entire life. It was something that I knew I could find inside but refused to look for. It was devastating. It was painful. I wanted to be rid of it. As this thought touched my mind, I turned my face towards the sun as it was finally lifting into the pale sky. I wasn’t sure if it gave me hope or sealed my fate. Another day and I was still dealing with a strange feeling of loss that seemed too big for me to handle. At least this land understood me and my woes; I couldn’t bear trying to unload any of this on someone else. It was heavy burden that I feared no one would ever truly understand. An old song pressed upon my memory then, and it seemed to build in my stomach until my voice was able to sing it at the heavens. When it did come, it was soft enough for my ears alone, but it seemed to fill the void within me for a moment. A new day had come and while I often prayed for a new “me” to come with it, I didn’t hold the kind of power to re-form a body. This was something I would have to deal with and overcome with only sheer power of will.

Thor