| Shame. It stains the back of her ears and the space behind her eyes with a fiery glow, flushes the gold-slashed face and forces the girl to avert her eyes. She wishes she could slink away from it; she regrets ever coming to this place, bemoans whatever rashness it was that compelled her to think she ought to summon the moon. The Lady is beautiful the way her mother was, a thing of darkness you cannot quite touch; Tandavi looks on her with both longing and fear as she emerges from nowhere and everywhere at once. A glance is stolen of the boy at her side, but he is entranced by the goddess, consumed by her form, and the girl has no choice but to follow his gaze toward her family's patron.
The Moon speaks to her without kindness, without the any of the affection she has seen the deity bestow. Indeed, the inky voice is cold; the girl thinks her words are a jab, a reminder of how she has betrayed who she is. Devoted service, the Goddess says, and the sunlit child feels herself sink down, ears twisting back in unhappy shame. Has she done such ill by abandoning the night? On her back her brother rouses, rising to regard the quick-tensing scene. He rubs his head on the girl's narrow shoulders, trying to ease away her alarm; to him, the Moon is just another god, one less warm and inviting than the Sun or the Earth, and one who is currently aggravating his sister, his friend. Gold eyes stare at the goddess, a thin flicker of a challenge within. The beginning of a growl settles low in his chest.
Don't, Raj, The girl pleads. You'll just make it worse. I deserve this.
The boy snorts his disagreement, but the growling stops and he settles down, sitting on slight haunches and licking his paw. Tandavi sighs, relief in her bones. She is already a disappointment. The last thing she wishes is to become a disgrace.
Averted gaze slips again to Caneo, as he begs the right to serve the Moon. Serving the Sun was something she never asked- it simply occurred, as naturally as breathing, and she found herself in the Light's embrace. Caneo offers his name, basking the goddess in childish praise; she finds herself irked by the effusive words, wishes he would love the Sun so they might have avoided this entire adventure. But he doesn't, she tells herself. He walks beneath the moon. Everyone I love walks beneath the moon.
In the sunlight is a lonely place to stand.
Eyes skirt forward, ears hang back, and she lets herself look again upon the lavender goddess. Perhaps she can win back some sliver of her regard, without betraying anyone more, her family or her God. Perhaps she can prove that she can become brave, and learn again to trust the night just as she trusts the dawn. Black gaze lingers on pupil-less eyes; in the wake of Caneo's fading voice she feels her own escape again, drifting unbidden into the dark, soft and still and warm and chill. "I want to help him," she tells the Moon, a quiet determination in her onyx eyes. "To learn from you, as my mother did." On her back, her brother growls. He disapproves of this idea, but knows he cannot stop her now.
[ 100th post whooo! \o/ ]
THE FIREDANCER
for it was I who walked among the falling stars, and did not burn | |
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