ARCHIBALD
Realism [+1]
While it's not REALLY powerplay, insinuating multiple times that Biru is in the way of the escape is meta playing someone else's character. What if Biru wanted to write that he came up on the same side? All you can do is define your position, not someone else's! Also, I would have liked to see more emphasis on how the dense jungle is hindering to Archi's size! That narrow of an environment would probably work against such a large character. Archi is doing ALOT of moving even in your second post, and you haven't mentioned the environment much at all. His body swerving and turning would definitely be hindered by trees and vines.

In post 2, there is a little more powerplay. How does Loretta know that the deer is summoning magic when you have not yet described the effects of the mist? Also, more costume! The effects of the grumpy cat were missed.


Emotion [+1]
There wasn't too much emotion in the posts except for blood and anger. I would have liked to have seen a wider range of what was going on in the posts!



Prose [+3]
The writing was great, clear, concise and well-written. However, there was alot of repetitive metaphors and words. For example, Loretta's only motives for attacking was to go for the throat to feel blood.


Readability [+2]
Very readable!


Finally tally: 42+(7*2)= 56 HP


BIRU
Realism [+1.5]
Just as a note, typically nurses wear hats and doctors have stethoscopes! I didn't take off any points for it, but I figured "the more you know~~". You also spent most of your first post setting it up and barely gave the defense and attack a paragraph! Getting rammed into by a character as big as Archibald would also be incredibly painful! I missed that in your post.

Post 2: How did Archibald's kick land in your barrel when it was aimed at your hocks? What about the other attacks?What about your costume! You are a doctor!


Emotion [+1]
I felt some emotion from Biru in the first post, but not much. There was little mention of pain or subsequent issues from being injured, especially in the last paragraph.


Prose [0]
Post 1: "all to soon", it needs to be "all too soon".
The last paragraph especially was short and choppy. It was pretty easy to see that you ran out of words, but next time, you should consider shortening your introduction. The important part of the battle is the fighting, so you should focus most of your efforts there.

Post 2: "swung his head to rid his thoughts": didn't he swing his head to try to attack Archibald?
"Giants ribcage" ---> "Giant's ribcage "
"Bloods" ---> "Blood's demand"


Readability [+1.5]
A little choppy in places, but otherwise good!


Finally tally: 40+(4*2)= 48 HP