TANDAVI
Realism [+4]
Right away, and all through the fight, I was impressed with your costume and you had it affect you. I also liked it slowly being ripped off through the fight and hindering your bite ability. You had great scenery and breed in the first post, which fell a little short in the second, however you had great attacks and defenses. I thought you reacted really well to the terrain effect and the vulture NPC and I liked how you tied them into the assaults (or dodges) of Roskuld, your main opponent.


Emotion [+2.5]
I really enjoyed all the variety and depth I saw from Tandavi through this fight, especially in the second post.


Prose [+4]
Beautiful writing all throughout and great flow.


Readability [+2]
Although mostly readable in your first post it was hard to visualize how you came at Roskuld for your attack since you did not say if you came head on, sideways, behind etc.

Post 1:
“...making her fidget as she readies for fight.” (to fight, for a fight, for fighting…)


Finally tally: 53+(12.5*2)= 78 HP


ROSKULD
Realism [-1]
First and foremost I thoroughly enjoyed your costume and how you played it off, although at times I think you focused on it too much which distracted a bit from the actual fight, particularlyy in your first post in which you made zero attacks towards Tandavi. Not attacking really leaves your opponent at a disadvantage and isn’t very realistic, so there was some heavy point reduction due to that - even if an attack doesn’t make sense for a character/scenario, attacks can always be made accidentally to give your opponent something to go off of. I did like though how much you had her stumble in her heels, though I’m not sure if you intended to have one of her falls be the terrain effect or not - it didn’t read that way to me because it always seemed to be a fault of the heels, which could have caused issue on any terrain with the way you were writing them. For such a similar reason too I find it unrealistic that Roskuld was able to dodge both of Tandavi’s first attacks, backwards. Additionally I didn’t feel that you sustained enough injuries in your second post where you rolled a 6 damage.

I did really like your response to the vulture npc attack though and I liked that you were gutsy enough to have her fall over. I also enjoyed seeing you mention her twisted legs again in the second post.


Emotion [+2.5]
You had wonderful emotion throughout the whole fight which left me laughing, though pitying Roskuld - especially in your first post.


Prose [+4]
You have a distinctive style and really nice writing which flows together nicely.


Readability [+2]
Although mostly readable, there was a typo in your first post and an incorrect term in both.

Post 1:
“...pink fabric-thing that rapped around the bottom…” (wrapped)
“...right fore and left hind ankles twist painfully…” (horses don’t have ankles, fetlocks, pasterns??)

Post 2: ankles again


Finally tally: 47+(7.5*2)= 62 HP