Naira..

Whispers surround me, everywhere. They make the world spin, and they lock the world out. 'Bar the doors! Lock the windows,' they yell. And then they go back to whispering. Jumbled, mixed words I cannot make out. I try to catch them here and there, but I can never quite hold onto their words. They are here always, they don't leave. They only hush for a while when ordered to.

They make me see things too. Horrible, twisted things that are never really there. It makes me sad that nobody can see these things, I want them to. I want someone to see that it's their fault, not mine. They've taken my brain over a long time ago.

But what if they scare those who see them? They sure scare me. They're monsters, demons, twisted images that I can never make out. I don't understand. Why? Why why why? Why me, why did he have to take me. I'm not good at anything, he's said so himself. He said so every fucking day. He reminded me that I'm a worthless piece of shit that nobody would ever love. He reminded me that I need him. His protection. He reminded me, every single day for years, decades is what it felt like. It would never end; I used to think. Never never never.

Yet, here I am. Saved from his clutches and cruelty. But now I think. I think; am I ready to be my own master? Can I really protect myself? Maybe I don't even think these things. Maybe it's them. The voices.

I hush them now, they leave my head spinning. The night is quiet, lonely. But I prefer to roam in the night. When there is nobody to judge me or hurt me. When I can grieve alone, so that nobody can see how weak I really am. The sadness is extra heavy tonight, and my pale head hangs low. The sun is near, I can sense it. Feel it. Soon the day will come, and it will burn my skin and I'll flee from all eyes.

But for now, I wait. Something is coming. What? I'm not sure yet. But once again I am consumed by whispers, and I start to rock and hum. It confuses them, blocks them out a little. But not tonight. No, tonight it angers them, and the hissing gets worse. They spit furiously inside the cage of my mind, and I panic. Rock a little faster, hum a little louder. It's not helping.

It's not making them go away. What if they consume me completely, never letting me go? What if...what if I will never see the light again?

Yet, none of this is true, for I truly am not innocent. I truly do not care for the light. Even if I wish someone would love me, it's nice to wish every once in a while. But then there's the place in my mind where the voices do not follow. But to go there, I must be kind, I must care. And I will never, ever care again.

And so, I wait.

"Speech"
Tag;; @[Vale]

Winds of change...