She shudders. Body aching. Bones creaking. Joints popping. Was she really this broken? I didn't think she was. I thought she as growing stronger. Well, maybe she wasn't growing stronger physically, but she was learning how to place these emotions. Her loose associations had slowly begun to spread out farther and farther - offering her more time to be coherent in between.

Still, she refused to leave the shadows. She refused to allow herself to be seen by those who were around her. She wasn't the strong leader they had seen her as. She wasn't the same mare who they had needed, who they had followed. So, instead, yellow eyes peered from the shadows and a place of pain. They had been her family, but she'd never really understood the love that they could have felt. No. She didn't think that many had actually adored her. In fact, she thought about half of them wanted to murder her in her sleep. It had been true, though, for what seemed to be one of them. After all... Circuita had attacked her - tried to take her crown for reasons the mare hadn't even understood.

Choking up, she clambered to her feet, body swaying as she struggled to find her center of balance again. Her muscles were weaker now and Schwere was far from letting that aspect go. You were supposed to be able to hold your own. You were supposed to keep training. Instead, you let yourself go to waste. You could never save someone now. Disgraceful. He keeps hissing at her, and I can't stop him. There's too many other souls we have to keep at bay for me to fight him and them.

Brokenness. Even if she wanted to pretend that she wasn't, there was no doubt she was beyond repair. She didn't understand Midas' desire to try and fix her. She couldn't understand it. She wasn't worth the love. She wasn't worth the care. She doubted anyone could care for someone who hadn't ever understood how to feel until a month ago. Something had snapped, then, but snapped far beyond repair. Snapped so that she could feel but not control the voices. She had less power over these souls then she had before she had run away. It was painful. The one thing which had made her who she was... it was beginning to eat her from the inside out.

I was getting even more concerned for her now, though. For her mind was beginning to shatter under the pressure. Our once comfortable home that offered a cozy place for us to rest was cracking. We were fighting to keep the walls up and the darkness out. But we couldn't do it. Even we were not strong enough for her soul to radiate through the way it had before. It was because of this that her paranoia was beginning to take an even worse push forward.

Now the shadows were even dangerous. Each of their movements was beginning to form into the spirits from her head. She could see them. They weren't safe. No one was safe. At least... not to her. Nothing, really, was happening. It was all her imagination. She was clinging to some kind of sanity, some kind of hope. Her head swung back, orbs focusing upon the golden feather situated in her tail. "For him. Be sane for him." She doesn't realize she had told him she loved him. Most of the interaction was a haze in her mind, but I knew. I knew she loved him and that she had said it out loud. I knew she had the ability to care and that was all that mattered to me. I had raised a good daughter, regardless of all of these struggles, and I hoped that she would be the better for it.

So, she shuffles her way out of the shadows. She has to drink water, she has to keep eating. Though her body still trembles with every step across the snow-covered land she does not stop. It is when she gets to the riverside that she crashes her glass hoof into the lake and breaks the tiny layer of ice a top of it. Then, she begins to drink the cool liquid, feeling it coat her throat in a numbness much like her soul. Her eyes are hazed, so close to going back to her loose associations she had been in upon arrival. So, in a weak attempt to keep her mind hazed, she continues to drench her sorrows in the water.

Freezing. Shocking. Numb. A strange combination, but it was what she was feeling. She knew she wasn't alone. She knew Midas wouldn't be far away - he had told her he would be by her side. But she knew she wasn't alone in the realm of spirits either. She could feel them suffocating her. She wasn't sure she could breathe. They all wanted to be heard! But she couldn't. She couldn't let all of them be heard. It was impossible. She wants it to stop, so she slams her right fore into the water and covers her chest in the icy liquid.

One last vain attempt at staying sane. But would it work? Would she be able to stay sane?

---

This is Seele's death thread. I'm going to ask that if the person hasn't responded within 72 of their posting order that you skip them to keep this moving. Only those who I tag should be present (for my own sanity, and for this to have the metaphorical meaning which I desired to have). Anyone can post first to set the actual order of posting.
She will not die right away, as she does have a few words to (hopefully) say to each of them. Midas will be keeping her heart trinket in her tail when she actually passes away ^^ just an fyi. If you would like part of her red hair in her tail to braid into a character's who has been tagged, then just let me know and you can have some of that as well.