Isolate and Medicate

[PRIVATE] Isolate and Medicate

Torleik the Bloodskald Posts: 354

Outcast atk: 4.5 | def: 8.0 | dam: 7.5

Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3 :: 11 HP: 66.5 | Buff: SWIFT

Irelyn :: Plain Griffin :: Molten Dagger RedGod

11-27-2014, 01:10 AM

Her words cracked around his ears like whips, breaking down anything and everything he perceived and felt. That was expected, wasn't it? He could barely function; why should he be correct about anything? "No" he said dourly, "I don't know what it was like. I know next to nothing about you." The statement was pointed. "Nor you me."

Ophelia claimed she just wanted to survive the best she could but that wasn't enough for Torleik. A view of life like that was bleak and not worth living. He needed something to live for, someone to live for, a purpose.

He had none. None that he could see, at least. His position as Basin General felt like a hollow attempt to pander to one of his skills, Ulrik and he hadn't so much as spoken in the past two seasons until today, and everyone he met, every friend he made, every single person he began to feel any modicum of care for...

But it didn't really matter. It wasn't about them. It was about feeling as though he had nothing to offer and the shame that drowned him in. How could he ever hope to make anyone happy when he was not happy himself? How could he provide for someone when he could not take care of himself and his bonded? Torleik watched with rage as Tinek came down to comfort Irelyn, Ophelia and her companion doing what he could not.

And then the pale mare's words cut him more deeply than anything anyone else in this land had spoken to him. Forget the Sun God's mocking, the Moon Goddess' choice of that drug-addict bastard, Brisa telling him the children were probably his and lying. The anger in him turned cold and black, and consequently, Ireyln's fire went out, the frost dragon's aid irrelevant. In a manner that almost bespoke calm, but the light in his eyes screaming otherwise, Torleik took one, single step towards Ophelia.

"You think I want this?" he hissed, deep voice barely above a whisper. "I love her more than anything in this world and you think I push her away for the fuck of it?" Such expletives were not normally part of his vocabulary, but then again, such rage was not normally part of his soul. "I want nothing more than to let her fire burn me to the bone if it would convince her I love her, but I can't. I can't move when she's burning. I can't think when she's burning. I can't breathe when she's burning - and you sit there and think you have the right to insinuate how easy it should be for me to not push her away?"

Fuck you. The thought was unbidden, sick and putrid, and Torleik hated how dirty he felt for being so pyrrhically volcanic inside. But now? Now all that was spewing was ash. And ash made everything cold.

Ironic, how he couldn't run from the fire that was eating him alive from within.

I love you. I hate myself and I love Irelyn and I love you. And if I can't even love my companion how I'm supposed to, how can I ever love you the way you deserve? The thought stream was sobering, and all the pent up rage started to melt from his muscles, leaving him feeling like he'd run across the entirety of Helovia and back.

"I want to love her, to help her, but I can't."

"talk talk talk"

@[Ophelia]

Heartstrings Come Undone
You know I'm trying to believe that you're never gonna leave...

Art by: veradaine @ DA