.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
11-28-2014, 10:39 AM
i am the vanguard of your destruction
[ as all my "solo posts" tend to be, this is like a massive ramble. ]
We become frozen.
"We already are," a whispered breath into the frigid, shy dawn. "We froze over a long time ago." To save ourselves. Because when the fractured heart melts, the blood will leak out, and when your veins have dried up- what's left of you? What's left of your dreams, when everything runs between your fingers like the sand in an hourglass, slowly counting down the time to your demise and the death of the stars?
Because one by one they winked out, like your hopes, swallowed by the sun. For a moment the darkness strained against the sunrise, stretched itself thinner and thinner until it broke—just like he did, all those years ago.
But for him, the sun had simply sighed and rolled back beneath the horizon again.
Yet for the world it rose, winter's cold light chasing the steely night sky away with swathes of peach and pale yellow. For the whole damn world the sun rose, bright as can be, but no matter how hard he looked he could never find the stupid thing in his life. His breath smoked into the chilly air. How many years could you spend diagnosing a problem, and never finding any kind of cure? How many years could you keep on running in the same circles, without finding your way out?
How many years could you live a coward and never learn to grow a spine?
How many years in a web of lies, until you learned truth?
You are harsh on yourself, the eldest owl said, her voice a cold brush upon his mind—each word thought-out and precise. Ever a perfectionist she always spoke slowly, and seldom bothered with words anyway.
"No," but why he used his physical voice he couldn't tell, "I am honest."
Silence. Silence as vast as the snowy world around him, the yellow heralding the sun growing brighter, lighter, and he shied away from it; shied away from fire and flame and pain, and the emptiness of his soul.
"Because I lost direction. I lost meaning. I am adrift," and stupid, "and.. I did not hold on to that which mattered the most." Ears angled back in regret, blue eyes filled up with it; Diego, not yet skilled with words, cried softly and fell from the sky to brush the tips of his wings along Mauja's neck. He shivered at the touch, glanced up. Higher, paler, almost invisible in the false-light, Irma remained distant and thoughtful. As cold as the glaciers themselves. "I tried to breathe life back into myself. I tried, and I failed, and in my quest for redemption I lost those who mattered the most to me."
He lowered his head again. Stared at the unbroken, perfect snow in front of his feet—saw the first ray of sunlight arc over the horizon, and strike a coldly glittering trail across the world.
"And then I was too much of a coward to find them again," he mouthed to the world. He didn't need to say it out loud. The owls would hear him anyway.
[ @[Spice] and others welcome, too! ]
We become frozen.
"We already are," a whispered breath into the frigid, shy dawn. "We froze over a long time ago." To save ourselves. Because when the fractured heart melts, the blood will leak out, and when your veins have dried up- what's left of you? What's left of your dreams, when everything runs between your fingers like the sand in an hourglass, slowly counting down the time to your demise and the death of the stars?
Because one by one they winked out, like your hopes, swallowed by the sun. For a moment the darkness strained against the sunrise, stretched itself thinner and thinner until it broke—just like he did, all those years ago.
But for him, the sun had simply sighed and rolled back beneath the horizon again.
Yet for the world it rose, winter's cold light chasing the steely night sky away with swathes of peach and pale yellow. For the whole damn world the sun rose, bright as can be, but no matter how hard he looked he could never find the stupid thing in his life. His breath smoked into the chilly air. How many years could you spend diagnosing a problem, and never finding any kind of cure? How many years could you keep on running in the same circles, without finding your way out?
How many years could you live a coward and never learn to grow a spine?
How many years in a web of lies, until you learned truth?
You are harsh on yourself, the eldest owl said, her voice a cold brush upon his mind—each word thought-out and precise. Ever a perfectionist she always spoke slowly, and seldom bothered with words anyway.
"No," but why he used his physical voice he couldn't tell, "I am honest."
Silence. Silence as vast as the snowy world around him, the yellow heralding the sun growing brighter, lighter, and he shied away from it; shied away from fire and flame and pain, and the emptiness of his soul.
"Because I lost direction. I lost meaning. I am adrift," and stupid, "and.. I did not hold on to that which mattered the most." Ears angled back in regret, blue eyes filled up with it; Diego, not yet skilled with words, cried softly and fell from the sky to brush the tips of his wings along Mauja's neck. He shivered at the touch, glanced up. Higher, paler, almost invisible in the false-light, Irma remained distant and thoughtful. As cold as the glaciers themselves. "I tried to breathe life back into myself. I tried, and I failed, and in my quest for redemption I lost those who mattered the most to me."
He lowered his head again. Stared at the unbroken, perfect snow in front of his feet—saw the first ray of sunlight arc over the horizon, and strike a coldly glittering trail across the world.
"And then I was too much of a coward to find them again," he mouthed to the world. He didn't need to say it out loud. The owls would hear him anyway.
[ @[Spice] and others welcome, too! ]
