OPHELIA
Realism [+3.5]
:: There was little consideration of the surroundings or breed differences, but I realize that this was an emotional fight more than a technical one.
Emotion [+3]
:: You hit me right in the feels straight from the beginning and never stopped. Awesome!
Prose [+3.5]
:: A couple extra commas here and there, for example: The sound of his hooves on the sand was a soft thud, and Tinek, circled overhead, spying the grouchy Irma and now another owl, a darker brown one.
Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns
Finally tally: 30+(13*2)= 56HP
MAUJA
Realism [+3]
:: There was little consideration of the surroundings or breed differences, but I realize that this was an emotional fight more than a technical one.
:: I would have liked more mention of how his injuries were affecting him.
Emotion [+3]
:: I really connected with Mauja. Every word drew me into what he was feeling and why he was doing what he was doing through the entire fight. Great!
Prose [+4]
:: Obviously well-edited. Great job!
Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns.
Finally tally: 40.5+(13*3)= 66.5HP