PANZRAM
Realism [+1]
:: To try and prevent the stallion from completely avoiding my upward jab, I snapped at his hooves with a rush of adrenaline. I’m a little confused about this attack. I thought Panzram’s head was thrown up in the air towards Gaucho’s neck. How are his teeth near Gaucho’s feet?
:: I would have liked to feel like Panzram was in a little more pain, or at least have slightly more description of the damage, after Gaucho’s flame attack. I felt like you gave me damage for a 3, I wanted just a little more since he rolled a 4. Similarly, I would have liked to see more consideration of the burns in your future posts. They seemed to be a little forgotten after the moment.
:: I know that Gaucho placed the attack a little far back, but I didn’t see any response to the ground tremors that Gaucho caused.
:: Considering Panzram’s experience with Mara, I thought it would have been more realistic of him to attack Gaucho’s back end instead of near the antlers where the snake was, but I didn’t think there was anything inherently wrong with the attack in your third post.
:: In your defense post, you took way too much damage. Gaucho only rolled a 1, but you had Panzram fall down. That’s a huge deal for a horse- they really avoid going down at all cost.
:: You did work in some breed comments in the beginning, but it would have been nice to have the scenery utilized during the fight.


Emotion [+2]
:: Yes, that must be it. This stallion was a mere insect, a collosal pest that probably made a sharper noise than it did a sting. Nice! I particularly enjoyed this line.
:: I would have liked to see some mention about what Panzram felt about charging at a stallion whose wings were flaming, since he wouldn’t necessarily know they did no harm.
:: I really liked reading about Panzram’s strategies- especially his desire to remain close to Gaucho in your second post.
:: 'You've got to be shitting me. Fight your own fucking battle instead of using your magic tricks!' Awesome!!
:: I can’t work it into your score, but the circular conclusion in your final post, where you refer back to your insect comment from post 1, was amazingly well done.


Prose [+3]
:: As I splashed through the waters, my dark gaze settles on the massive stallion that was bucking about like a colt in his first spring time. Tense switching
:: As soon as I felt the arc pass my eyes, my eyes shot open to avoid being attacked, This was worded just a little awkwardly. I think the second ‘my eyes’ could have easily been replaced with ‘they’


Readability [+2.5]
:: I just had to reread one time, where I got confused about Panzram snapping at Gaucho’s feet. Otherwise, well done!

Finally tally: 33.5+(8.5*2)= 50.5HP


GAUCHO
Realism [+3.5]
:: Great job describing how Gaucho felt nothing at his opponent’s attack, I thought you wrote it very well.
:: With a loud grunt his hooves plummeted downwards rattling the ground as if the weight of his body was suddenly hundreds of times heavier than it was. There’s nothing particularly wrong about this, except that you went back a little far in time to place the attack (before Panzram’s attack, in this case). This is going to make it so that Panzram has to go pretty far back in time to write his post, making it just a little awkward.
:: Good job keeping in mind the open wound on Gaucho’s side and working that into his decision making.
:: You did work in some breed comments in the beginning, but it would have been nice to have the scenery utilized during the fight.


Emotion [+2]
:: It was done so well, I had to mention it twice- great job with Gaucho’s thoughts about not feeling anything as he touched another. You did especially well with this in the second post.
:: As always, it’s clear you know Gaucho well and his warrior’s mind really shines through during spars.


Prose [+3]
:: That was the point at which Gaucho had leaned it. In
:: Besides - he thought the unicorn nearly as wounded as He - or perhaps Mara's bite has dangerously numbed his pain. Tense switching


Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns

Finally tally: 50.5+(11.5*2)= 73.5HP