Here are some issues I am aware of:
- Verb tense. It's really, really bad man. Luckily my English 101 helped me realize just how bad this is.
- Over all punctuation. Commas are my weakness.
- Word repetition.
- Cliche metaphors
So I'd love it if anyone could take some time out of their day and provide some general tips on how they feel I could improve. I am alright with somewhat harsh critique I just ask that you don't be absolutely ruthless.
• tag in opening posts only
• violence/magic is permitted. maiming/death is not without prior permission