Things had been going rather rough for me as of late, and unfortunately the majority of the misery was my own fault. I had put too many of my emotions into the relationships with certain members, or rather one particular member, of the herd. Yes, it was my own fault for investing said emotions even when I knew better than to do so. It was a harsh, self-taught lesson for putting too much hope and trust into someone so early. You would think, given my history, I would have learned my lesson by now. I should have learned by now, but for some reason I ended up burned every time. It was like I was addicted to the pain, addicted to the hollow, hopelessness that further pushed me to feel sorry for myself.

What was wrong with me? Why was I so desperate for the need of my own self pity? It wasn't for the sake of receiving mercy or pity from others, or at least I never felt that way. Yet here I lay in the sands, lightly pushing tiny little dunes with my muzzle back and forth as I thought. My nose was going to be rubbed raw by the time I figured out why I always seemed to act the way that I did, hell I'd sand it down to the bone before I would ever be able to solve that problem. But...what if that was my problem? Was I actually addicted to the pain? To the pity? Had I grown so used to the emotional baggage and turmoil in my youth that I felt dysfunctional without it now that I was fully grown. My auds pinned back with shame at the thought, tucking my legs even closer to my belly as I prayed that that was not the case. It was a shame, how uncomfortable I was now. I felt unable to turn to anyone, to talk to a friend that could tell me 'you're acting like an idiot.' or 'don't worry, it will get better.' Advice, comfort, or even a proper scolding when I needed it. I would take any of it right now, for the ability to always have someone to trust and turn to.

I needed someone to fix me. I couldn't help myself.

And there I was, continuing the same destructive cycle as I buried a little shallow into the sands. If it weren't for the barking order of a female's voice, I would have probably continued to stay there wallowing. A command for the healers, given by a voice that I didn't really recognize. With a large 'oomph', I pulled myself to my feet to follow the direction of the call. In retrospect, I owed the owner of that voice a favor for enabling me to get off my ass. To be honest, I almost forgot that I was a healer of these lands. Nothing had ever been needed of me, and the Sun Physician that I had only heard the name of seemed to have disappeared. Had that person returned?

Crossing over the final dune, my eyes widened at the site of a slightly familiar looking vixen waiting for the healers to join. The opportunity to meet this very young mare had never represented itself, and I was a little surprised to see that she was the one waiting for us. Trotting up to the selection of herbs and plants, I found myself quite unfamiliar with most of them. Some of them smelled lovely, while a couple of others...I could have done without. Lifting my gaze to the young one, I dipped my muzzle towards her. "Good afternoon, I am Morrigan. Are we waiting on any others?" I asked quietly, glancing to my sides to see that I was the first to have joined her. I couldn't have been the only one expected to be here...Wasn't that large purple mare a healer too? Scarlet orbs scanned the horizon for any sign of the colorful draft.