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02-18-2015, 03:06 PM
 Ophelia was surprised as she watched his mountainous form tumble elegantly to the ground, possessing so much grace for such a massive creature. She furrowed her brows, wondering why he wanted to be so close to her side, so near a failure. Didn't he know by now that she wrecked everything she touched? The only relationships in her life, with the exception of her sister, worked only because they were mutually using. Once her use had run out, she was left behind, wondering if the piece of her heart was carried with them or simply dead on the inside. Could anyone reanimate the patches of dead flesh left by all her injuries? Was the heart as capable of healing as the body? The warmth of his body permeated her own, and she absently ran her hoof through the water, leaning slightly. Whiskers tickled at her shoulder, and his hot breath washed over her neck. Ophelia felt the way he breathed, his scent masking the sterile and acrid tang of her own blood seeping and settling on her palate. Shame twisted her guts on the inside as she spoke, hearing his words which seemed so devoid of emotion and clinically spoken, the comforting tickle of his whiskers torn away from her neck. The frozen-hearted mare lifted her eyes to his, dancing between the two blue orbs with her own strange ones. Silence settled between them, white as snow and carried on bated breath. She dared not speak, unsure of the change in mood but sensing it with every fiber of her coat. What had she said? What had she done? Part of her wanted to go back, pedal through time and erase her words. Would he get up and leave? Would he abandon her here with nothing but her wounds and disturbing, haunting reflection? She felt her heart hammer in her chest as she waited, barely able to inhale lest she shatter the silence and break an already broken glass further. Unperturbed by the physical pain, she felt it fade into the background, her mind focus on matters at hand. She would not hold this against him; she had asked for them to be left alone. Ophelia instead held onto his every word, absorbing and tasting them so that she could properly response. Gray, mousy lips set into a frown, and she considered what he asked carefully. What did she fear? What had she meant? The battle between her and Mauja represented more than just a simple spar, and she knew that as she stood across the sands from the pale ghost of her past that she fought herself equally. "The fear of being alone," she murmured, strange, dual colored eyes going distant though the contact with his remained unwavering. "The fear of being abandoned again. The fear of never being worth anyone to stay..." Ophelia inhaled shakily, breath howling through her throat with an audible gasp. "I am afraid that all I will ever deserve in this life is... just..." she trailed, frowning. "That I just need to accept what comes my way." Ophelia shook her head. "Being strong is not... easy for me. My father was never affectionate. I was taken as a child, and he never once came to rescue me. For so long, I thought that I was unworthy of any affection, and so many individuals I cared for deeply just... disappeared or loved someone else..." she trailed, thinking of Osiris on the beach that day with the gray pegasus mare. "I am rather pathetic." She snorted humorlessly, eyes turning dark. "Ironic that I am so desperate that I still spoke with him after he and Deimos tried to kill me so long ago. Ktulu choked Mauja, which is the only way I escaped. He... he said he didn't want me dead because my body would be too much of a hassle to cart off." Ophelia winced, looking down at her hooves. "I am weak and stupid. Desperate. Foolish. I find myself starving for love and attention that I stupidly believe it's real until it's not. "So many times... I broke, finally. I wanted to win so that I could, in essence, win back myself, but I lost." Ophelia sighed heavily. "Fitting, I think. There is no winning with my heart. Now, I second guess everything. I cannot trust though I crave something real, and promises have lost their value." She realized how much she had been talking and how her past opened up like a toxic flower, poisoning the air between then. A bitter, cold smile crossed her lips. "You care too much for someone like me. I am the Forsaken for a reason." @[Torleik] |
 Undertow has come to take me. Guided by the blazing sun. Look at everything around us. Look at everything we've done. Please. Anyone. I don't think I can save myself. I'm drowning. |
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