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03-08-2015, 12:01 PM
By my verdict: DEIMOS is the winner!
DEIMOS
Realism [+3.5]
:: I might have missed it, but I didn’t see mention of Ophelia’s magic in your post 3.
Emotion [+1.5]
:: There was a lot going on at that point, but in your post 2 it might have been nice to see some thought given to how Deimos felt about Ophelia trying to puncture his chest with her horn.
Prose [+4]
:: Obviously well edited
Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns.
Finally tally: 59.5+(12*2)= 83.5HP
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OPHELIA
Realism [+3.5]
:: Post 1 you might have taken slightly more damage, but there wasn’t a huge discrepancy between what I wanted and what I read.
:: Good job taking your critical miss, in post 2.
Emotion [+1.5]
:: Your emotions seemed sort of cursory towards the end of post 1
Prose [+3.5]
:: She was understandably disinterested in feelings its effects Feeling.
Readability [+2.5]
:: Just briefly, I was confused about where Tinek was aiming his ice in your post 2
Finally tally: 29.5+(11*2)= 51.5HP
