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03-23-2015, 05:03 PM
| Through the shadow and the twilight it was impossible to focus on the green of her eyes or the way her mouth might turn downward if she was displeased. At this point I could picture the way her lips were drawn tight, angry and focused. Her eyes were probably wide and incredulous, trying to find a good reason to blame me for her own emotions, and if I were smart I’d find a way to resolve the matter. Evangeline was just as bull-headed as she was beautiful, a diamond in a world full of crimson rubies. While others were content to dabble with sin, Eva had found a way to remain pure, innocent, and faithful. She believed in things that had all but eluded me until meeting her and she pondered others that I’d chosen to overlook on my road to the easy way out. As I looked around, taking in the varying depths of darkness that threaded itself through slender willows and their wispy branches, I became a lost man. What in God’s name was I doing? I was wasting too much time pressing toward an uncertain future that promised nothing and forbid nothing… Instead of taking her hand and offering her support, I was more inclined to make her lead us toward a destiny, a fate together, which was just as unclear as the surrounding grove. Our entire courtship had been veiled in doubt and mistrust conjured up from the past that neither of us was willing to forget. Sounds from the thicket became more apparent in the silence as crickets and toads chirped and bellowed to one another, an unceremonious song of the night. Behind Evangeline, the trees seemed to grow dense and unforgiving, trapping us in the moment with our agonies. There was no escaping the tension that bloomed between us and maybe it was for the best. We were both on the cusp of fleeing the pain that arose every time we spoke of commitment and love, but still we failed to provide an answer for the infinite dead ends that ultimately got us nowhere. Evangeline wanted to push while I pulled and the daily struggles of our shallow romance had grown stale. To me, this was the moment of truth, of the decision that would have to be made if we were to continue down the broken path of our figurative convergence. However, any time I expressed a need to lie with her and protect her from the world’s evils, she refused. It was tiring, it was maddening, but most of all, it was hopeless. “Fine, I’ll stop pushing,” I relented on a sigh. I felt as though I were being suffocated by the closeness of her and the circle of trees that seemingly staunched the flow of cool air. My skin was suddenly hot to the touch and my spine crawled with a vicious pain that I couldn’t quite yet identify… Perhaps my heart was breaking and it manifested itself physically so that I could be sure. I favored the idea of suffering by way of flesh wounds over pining after an unrequited love- at least one of them could be healed. Again I looked out into the grove hoping to find answers or even a reason to retreat back to the Edge so that I could nurture my wounded pride, but only the quiet song of the crickets and the toads countered back. The pain in my back appeared to wax and wane, and though I said nothing to foster conversation, I was finally able to relax again. There was certainly no point in getting worked up about this anymore. Evangeline and I had pulled both tooth and claw in order to come to a compromise, but nothing worked with us. I was getting a little too old to claim ignorance and as far as I knew it was time to throw in the towel, call it quits. For a moment I was on the verge of doing just that until a rushed, tangle of words averted my momentary decision. It was almost sick how many times I’d had to explain myself to Eva and even more awe inspiring how many times she needed to hear it… but for the sake of our friendship, or whatever one might call it, I gave in… one last time. “Do you really need to hear what it means to love someone? Do I need to divulge the various reasons why I’ve come to care about you? Are you not Evangeline? Or are you not beautiful and strong, intelligent and caring? Tell me please, why is it that you believe I’ve picked you? I’d like to hear it,” I stated evenly. There was no malice in my tone nor any reason for her to feel threatened by what’d I’d said. There was just me and her, the crickets and the toads, and the fact that I loved her irrevocably, all hidden away behind the tight circle of trees that trapped us with our agonies. THOR
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@[Evangeline]
Lines by Tamme! Paddeh Coloring
