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01-20-2015, 11:23 AM
 calmness is the cradle of power "Ranjiri?" I cared not if I made Ilaria angry, she was the least of my concerns. I was not fearful of her, was not worried that she might try to attack me because as upset as I was with you I still trusted that you would not allow your companion to hurt me. I was only mildly aware of her rage when you spoke her name, but I had little time to dwell on it because you were telling me her name, claiming that you never claimed Ryuu as your son. My ears lifted as I listened then fell back again when you called yourself the adopted, ragtag son in our perfect family. "Perfect family?" I asked, unable to believe what I had just heard. We were anything but perfect. "You know our family was not perfect." It was so far from perfect that it was actually laughable. "What makes you even think that our family was perfect? You didn't have a mother and I'm not foolish enough to think that my mom ever acted like a mother to you and I hardly had a father. He was always here. Always with you. And Hototo. Mom fawned over him, doted on him, because he's special. He's the Earth God's son and I'm only Midas' daughter." I knew all too well that it was not easy being the sibling of a demi-god. It was no easier being the cousin of one. It was so easy to be overlooked by everyone. "Our family is a wreck." And I was only making it worse. I could have continued on, but you interrupted me and I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Maybe I was so angry because part of me suspected that she was his real mother, it explained the gold on his coat. I didn't want to be reminded that Ryuu wasn't my son. "Then she lied." I said, my voice falling flat. "And her daughter's name is Faeanne. Faeanne's father is Rostislav, whoever that is." How many kids had she abandoned? How many more would she bring into the world to abandon? How could you be friends with her when she'd orphaned two helpless children? It made my head hurt and my heart ache. "Ryuu wandered off and when she found him he started screaming for me. He told me what she said about you being his father." The more I thought about it the more confused I got. The more I began to wonder why I'd even believed what I had been told. Did Ryuu even say that you had claimed to be his father? Did I just assume the worst? I frowned and shook my head and felt sick to my stomach with the knowledge that she was Ryuu's real mother. I began to doubt myself, wonder what I was doing, why I was even there. I began to wish that the ground would open up and swallow me whole. "You can't do it if you have to protect him from me, too?" "No!" I shook my head vigorously, angrily, stupidly. It still amazes me at how easily I'd been able to screw everything up. Roskuld always told me that she was a fuck up, but I'm pretty sure I'm one, too. "I'm so stupid." I finally say, still shaking my head. I still can't believe how easily I was able to place blame on you for her lies. I don't blame you if you hate me for it. I would hate me. "I'm sorry..." My voice felt dead and I wanted to run away so I stepped back several paces then turned, intent on running away from everything. @[Cera] "Speak."  |
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